


Saviours

by xxlisagalloverxx



Series: The Evolving Winter [2]
Category: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Fandom, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4948780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxlisagalloverxx/pseuds/xxlisagalloverxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who am I?" Was the only question running through Winter's mind. "Am I still the Winter Soldier?" She paused, "Or am I Avery Rogers?" Memories start to trickle in, but she doesn't know what is real and what is not. How can she tell? How can she determine who she was and who she is now? How will she know? There is both a beginning and an end, but which will she catch first?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Avery Rogers - The Winter Soldier

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | Avery Rogers – The Winter Soldier

Avery Rogers was a small petite girl in her younger years, so much slimmer than the usual girl in her time … but that was grown out of as she got older. Her body grew into a woman by the age of 19, back in the day every man was looking to her with googly-eyes. But there was only one man she had her eyes on for many years. James Buchan Barnes.

James was the last one to catch on about her small crush, a crush that soon turned into a deep undying love. He too, showed off his affection as he grew older. By the time he had hit his twenty's, he was head over heels in love with her. Neither thought that they'd be alive nearly a hundred years later, still in their twenties … but that was just one of the world's greatest mysteries and miracles. Avery Rogers may not have her memories fully returned and James may not have her in his arms right now, but they were alive. They would find their way back to each other … lovers always do…

Back in 1945; things were much simpler but more complicated at the same time. The simple part being who someone was fighting. Hydra were at war with Shield and America. Shield and America were fighting back at Hydra. No one realised the bigger impact of this time until 2013. There was a hidden agenda behind everything; they weren't sure how they couldn't have figured it out sooner – if they had, maybe more people would be alive to tell the tale.

This hidden agenda started with a name. Avery Rogers, also known as Ava. She's the lost sister of the renowned Captain America, Steve Rogers. And the lover of Lieutenant America, James Buchanan Barnes, also known as Bucky. This name was used many times in the evolvement of this plan; she was the one that would crumble everything – the single person that the both American heroes held dear to them. And these people knew that – it's what they wanted in their overall outcome.

Avery Rogers had become an experiment, straight after being pronounced dead when she fell out of a moving Hydra train during a raid. Any normal person would have died upon impact when hitting the ground, from hundreds of meters in the sky – but she didn't. Hydra had already planned to take her life away from her boys … so they started the manipulation to her cells when they first had a good hold of her. This was during the time her team had been captured for several weeks. And no one ever knew … no one ever expected … and no one thought anything of it as to why she had been kept separated from the others for days on end back in that holding cell.

Hydra had kept this a secret for almost that whole one-hundred years; until James 'Bucky' saw her face that day back on the highway-pass fight. When that mask flew off after his attack, his heart stopped. It was like he couldn't breathe and everything just came rushing back.

But the thing is, this wasn't Avery Rogers anymore – the one he knew and loved with all his heart. The long dark-haired familiar female was different, there was a stench of death in her aura. This person in dark, was known as The Winter Soldier and this woman was born the day Avery Rogers had died.

That is why she was alive but not awake; the body of Avery Rogers was very much alive and kicking – it's just the person she used to be, the very essence that made this body alive … was dead. Avery Rogers had been kicked out for another persona, another solider to fight a war that would never end. 

Hydra had planned this and had never foreseen any complications to this.

But, what they didn't plan was for that persona; The Winter Soldier to have her memory start coming back in small miniscule pieces. During her time in the world, she did remember small details of what she had deemed to be a 'fake' life. She had disregarded them as per what her training told her to do. But when she saw James Buchanan Barnes in the flesh again, something snapped – something inside of her took a hold of something deep within and began to unravel it. Everything Hydra had accomplished was starting to diminish within a couple of days.

This wouldn't do … this wasn't the plan…

So Pierce ordered what they could only have done – and that was to re-wipe her memory. Everything they had accomplished in bringing out hatred for these two American heroes had instantly vanished, all to be left with an empty shell The ultimate willing super solider with nothing to lose.

But even that didn't last for long.

The last fight … the last time The Winter Solider had seen this Lieutenant America, something sparked and crackled. And this time, it held on. Winter disappeared off the face of the Earth, untraceable … but those two American heroes, they wouldn't let go … they couldn't. So they kept searching, and searching … and searching. Not stopping until they got her back. Bucky would never stop until he got his lover back and Steve would never stop until he got his twin sister back. That was their new mission … the one that truly mattered anymore.

And that is where our story starts … the beginning to an end … the moment when two superheroes become the only saviours for a broken girl with shredded memories, but, will they succeed in bringing back the one they want or be stuck with another person entirely?

This could get a whole lot worse before it even gets better…

Note: Ahh! I literally just went out to buy the DVD to the new Avengers movie when I realised it came out today! YEY! I was honestly having trouble starting this, but as soon as I started typing … it just came to me. I know that this is a very long-awaited sequel for many of you, so I hope I don't disappoint. Let me know what you think …

P.S, Some of you may know from reading my other fanfics [The Family Business], but I will say this for the newcomers and that is that I really have a lack in time to my writing lately. I'm changing departments at work and becoming full time, 50-55 hours a weeks with long days … and I have other stuff on top of that along with trying my hardest to save up for college next January. Updates for all of my stories can really vary and I will not make set dates but I will try my hardest to update as much as possible.

Oh! Alive but not Awake has officially reached 50,000 views – I am honestly bubbling with many emotions right now – thankfulness, happiness, shock … I could go on…

Anyway, let me know what you think! Review, Follow, Fav!


	2. The Beginning

There will be some sibling time with Steve and a few flashbacks from the past in this chapter. This is a very long original chapter, but this is because this will be the only one before the movie is written in.

I re-read my prologue and a thought came to me – that is probably the best prologue I've ever written honestly. I'm so proud of myself every time I read it [and I can't seem to stop reading it], it's amazing..haha.. Anyway, enough about me … here we are with the official first chapter…

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | The Beginning

Many months had gone by yet so much has happened. Bucky and Steve were able to finally find Ava; or Winter as she wanted to be called. Neither of them, including Winter knew how to act around each other – she was the splitting image of someone they had thought died 75 years ago, it hurt to see her and know their true Ava was still not back in their lives.

Winter had gone through many changes since that day at the Smithsonian museum, she had immediately traveled to find answers after the first breakthrough with her memories. But every time she found a new trail with hydra, she came up with a dead end. It didn't help either when every day she kept getting new memories stuffed into her brain from the past life. At this point in time; she was neither the Winter Soldier nor Avery Rogers 'Ava'. She was someone different, someone she couldn't even really explain to herself. She had the memories of her current persona, The Winter Soldier. But there were also the remnants of Avery Roger's life pushing into her – this other person's life was making her feel things she never remembers feeling or thinking.

Unable to ask or accept help, which was something she as a well-trained soldier would never do – she allowed the two American heroes a chance a finding her, to see if they were true to her newly found memories as being loyal and loving towards this Avery Rogers.

And they came and answered.

Winter had stood upon the old, abandoned railway tracks of the place Avery Rogers had been taken away from the world. There was meaning to this; as she waited for their arrival. She started to fully remember what happened to her … to Avery. She would never speak the words out loud, but she needed help and those two seemed to be the only ones who could. She remembered more quickly in their presence last time – maybe it will this time too? Inside she knew being alone wasn't a good idea anyway, and she was starting to get that.

There must be side effects to the machine that deleted her memories, because ever since that last wipe, memories that were slowly coming back and they were starting to hurt. They were painful, sometimes excruciating. At one point, she actually felt scared. And this something entirely new for Winter; she was taught and trained to NEVER feel emotions, and many had come up during the past couple of months, but never … fear. At soon as that emotion touched, every fear Avery Rogers had before her elimination came rushing back in the form of a heartache. It was like she had finally longed to see the two American heroes to make her feel better, and this was something she hated herself for feeling.

And now, she stood in a small glass-windowed room, looking out to the city of New York. A 'Tony Stark' had been kind enough to offer her a place in his tower, her room (with a bathroom of her own) was in between the two American hero's rooms. They had obviously been too busy to look for a place of their own during the time she was being tracked down – but she couldn't help but feel safe within these walls, this was yet another thing that had started to slip into her in the form of a feeling.

Her hair was naturally straightened, a gloss from her darkened hair shining against the warming sun. Her skin was a little more tanned than last time after her travelling mission, small black bags under her eyes were starting to show – she really wasn't getting enough sleep these days. Nightmares kept her awake. Her style of clothing hadn't changed much; she wore black skinny pants pretty much all the time, they were the only things that felt comfortable (and they were the only things she had actually tried on lately), she had on a pair of combat boots, a cream looking sweater with a white tank top underneath. This was literally all she would wear day to day now unless a mission had come up. The sweater was to keep people from looking at the metal arm attached to her body, she didn't like people staring.

Winter didn't really know what her role was when it came to the Avengers missions; sure, they wanted her to come along and find this sceptre or something they were looking for. But do they trust her? Not really. Do they like her? She didn't know. Now, was she an Avenger herself? That she couldn't tell you either, because she really didn't know what her role was in this place. She couldn't even give them much on Hydra themselves even after living with them for the past 75 years.

There was a wall of guilt and shame built in her mind, everything she had done since her birth 75 years ago. The Winter Soldier was a stone-cold killer and all the lives she had taken from that day weighed on her heavily, her soul's been darkened and destroyed. It's a wonder as to why these Avengers hadn't gotten rid of her for the terrible crimes she had committed over that vast time period.

She crossed her arms against her chest but still gazed down below; people were walking around with their amazingly normal lives ahead of them, no one worrying about anything other than what their futures might consist of. Her fingers slowly lifted to just below her neck where a chain was hanging from, her hand grabbed gently onto the small object hanging on it – a ring. This had been the memorial object she had stolen from that dark-haired super-soldier, once she had saved him from drowning. She never was able to get many more memories out of this piece of jewelry, she only remembered the day that sh-Ava had received it. She was able to remember that event pretty clearly more than the others which felt slightly odd.

A knock sounded at the door making her jump out of the thinking space she had been in. The chain dropped from her fingers, falling back down her sweater – hidden.

She glanced towards the door, "Who is it?" She questioned, not moving from her spot.

"It's me." The familiar voice of Steve Rogers called through the closed door. "Can I come in?" He asked, sounding nervous in his tone.

"Okay."

The door opened and Steve's head poked through for a moment before his body followed. He closed the door behind him. Winter had seen a lot of Steve recently, she's seen Barnes too but not as often, he seemed to be avoiding her a little. She had an inkling that the reason had to be because she wasn't what he was expecting to find. Both the American Heroes were probably hoping she had regained a lot of her memories back by now, at least started going by Avery Rogers from now on, along with acting like the woman.

"Why are you here?" Winter wondered bluntly, her brows furrowing in confusion – she turned towards him fully with crossed arms and a tilted head. She watched as the Captain's shoulders slumped shortly at her tone, he was probably thinking she'd be happier to see him. From the part of the memories that have Avery in them, that's how she would react – happy and curious. But right now, she just seemed confused.

"Um," Steve began, crossing his own arms with a sigh, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a bit?" He asked, "Get out of the building," His shoulders shrugged with a thoughtful look, "Maybe get a hot dog?"

Winter frowned, looking a little interested. "Where would we go?"

Steve shrugged, "I could show you around a bit, I haven't explored much myself since I woke up so I figured – why don't we do it together." He knew Ava loved to explore and do new things. Maybe if he started to interact with Winter this way, he'll be able to find his twin in there somewhere a little faster.

Winter thought for a moment, it did sound like fun. Whenever there had been a mission, she was never allowed to stray from it – Hydra were very strict when it came to the completion of missions. Besides, it's not like she had anything better to do than look out a window and act all depressive with these mind-boggling memories being stuffed into her head. "Alright." She nodded, accepting his invitation. A thought came to mind, "What about Barnes?" She asked, wondering if he would be coming along – a part of her felt a spark of hope crawl inside her, it's like she couldn't help it.

Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Nah," He said, "He's helping Natasha and Barton train."

Winter made sure not to change her mood and posture in front of him, because if she did, she would have looked a little unhappy about where Bucky was. "Right," She played it off, "Are we going now then?"

"Sure." Steve looked happy when she accepted and even though she didn't try to show it, he did see a small change in her demeanor when he mentioned what Bucky was doing right now. Maybe his sister was starting to come back?

…

"What is this place?" Winter wondered as they walked around a large lake with trees trailing around the edges. There were dozens of people walking about through this park; a part of her hurt when she watched a man and woman holding hands, laughing to each other with happy smiles on their faces.

Steve shoved his hands inside his pants pockets, "It's called Central Park." He told her. The two of them had walked here on foot from the tower, neither wanting to be inside a small car – he would have used his newly reformed motorcycle but he didn't think Av-Winter would feel comfortable. He understood her hesitation to trust them and feel again; she had been through a lot since she had supposedly died. Even if Bucky hadn't seemed to grasp it yet; there was still a long way to go until their Ava was returning to them. She may not, and this would have to be something they'd have to live with if or when the time came.

They stopped by a wooden bench, Winter took a seat – just staring out into the water with a blank but thoughtful face. Her hands were held together between her knees, her head tilted as her gaze wandered. This place felt weird for Winter – she had seen places like this before, but none seemed to make her feel like this. She felt calm and at peace here, the water in front of her was clear – little children were trying to chase the ducks waddling near the water and dogs were hurdling after tennis balls. This place, if felt … pure. Like nothing could destroy what it had to offer the next person.

"It's nice, huh?" Steve questioned, taking his hands out, sitting himself beside her comfortably. He bent over a little so his elbows touched his knees. He looked over to her, "It kind of makes you forget all the things happening in the world."

Winter nodded, "Yes, it does seem like that doesn't it?" She said, leaning back.

There was a moment of silence as Steve just looked to the woman who wore his sister's body. As far as he could tell from the last week of having found her, only a small portion of his sister had been drawn out since the last fight she had with Bucky. From the moment they found her, she had made sure to tell them who she was to be called. Winter. It hurt to know that she didn't want to be called Ava or Avery, but she wasn't ready for that and he could live with that, for now. She wasn't exactly acting like his sister anyway. Mostly he just wanted his twin back, the one he could always count on – the one who completed him, they were like two pees in a pod. He just wanted her to come back after all this time having been deceased through history.

There was one thing though; both he and Bucky had made sure not to pressure her with questions because of this. They had wanted to know more on what she was currently remembering and what had actually happened to her, really. Not just what had been written in a folder filled with a bunch of paper. He could barely read all of what was in there, everything was so … he honestly didn't have a word for it. If everything that was written down, was true – it was surprising his sister, or Winter in this case – how was she not in a traumatic catatonic state? But even the files didn't contain everything, it was still pretty vague on a lot of the details.

Coming to Central Park right now was part of his plan, he wanted to ask what really happened after all these years – to ask if there was any chance of his sister returning to him – to ask if Bucky was ever going to get his fiancé back.

"Ask." Winter spoke bluntly, not looking towards him – she slowly closed her eyes, enjoying the small breeze flushing against her face. She saw right through him; maybe it was this Avery part of her feeling it or it could have just been because of her training, she really didn't know.

Steve was a little surprised at first but then realised what she meant. That was another thing he had noticed from her; she had Ava's ability to know what other people were thinking. She did it to him all the time, they had always called in a twin instinct, not that it was ever really proved though.

He couldn't help but ask the one thing that had been on his mind ever since he had found out from Bucky about her actually being alive. "How?" He asked, not realising how vague he was being. It just popped out.

Winter's eyes opened, her mouth forming a confused frown. "Excuse me?" She questioned, finally turning to him. What was that supposed to mean?

"How did you survive?" He said with more detail, "You fell out of a train! Hundreds of feet in the air from a mountain!" His sister falling out of that train was still a vivid memory in his brain, it flashed in his mind once more to remind him of the horror that broke his heart.

"Ava!" Steve and Bucky's broken voices screamed after her tumbling body – they watched as it disappeared, too far to see from the moving train they were in.

"I-" Winter opened her mouth but her mouth went dry, there was only so little she could remember about that time. Bu the event he was talking about was pretty clear in her head, the memory had been one of the first to pound her head in with – it was what happened before and after she didn't have a good grasp on things. "I remember falling, you and Barnes were there … then everything went dark." She started, her mind trying to muggle around all the visions she had been having lately. "There was a small man with an odd looking face and rounded glasses, I think his name was Zego, Zolo or something?"

"Dr. Zola." Steve asked, his brows furrowing with concern. A bubble of hatred for the man bubbled under his skin, that name hadn't been in the file – his fists clenched.

The name was recognisable. "Yes." Winter nodded, turning to him. "He did things to her … me," She corrected herself, she had to get used to the fact that this Avery Rogers was her – that these memories were actually her own.

"You will be our greatest weapon, Miss Avery." Dr. Zola smirked, "You will serve Hydra to the best of your ability's when we are done with your reconstruction."

"He said I would be his greatest weapon – Hydra's greatest weapon once he was done with me, until the reconstruction had been completed." Her look began distant, "I didn't even realise what he meant until I looked at my arm…" She unconsciously touched her metal unmoving arm through the sweater with her human hand. "…it was like it had been ripped off, I guess I must have caught something when I fell out of that train. "

Steve swallowed hard at what she was telling him, but one thing still bothered him more, "But, how were you able to survive?" No normal human would have been able to survive that fall, even with the most amount of luck someone could even get.

Winter tried to think back, "I think…" She began, "It must have been back when I was taken before then. I-I can't remember when though." She explained but her vision went dark with pictures, a throbbing pain lingering in her frontal lobe.

The room was dark, only small lanterns were lit – the room's walls were made of old bricks – it looked like some kind of secret basement for experiments. On a small table, in the middle of the room was a long dark-haired woman lying on it, she wore a dirty white tank top and American army-style pants. Her skin was layered with sweat, she seemed to be mumbling incoherently to herself. Her arms were tied to the table, there were no markings of any sort covered on her body that showed.

Suddenly, two men burst into the room wearing soldier uniforms. It was Captain and Lieutenant America.

Bucky looked around the room, wondering why Dr. Zola had been in here – running away with a briefcase full of papers. It wasn't until he saw the woman when his eyes widened, "Ava!" He exclaimed, running the woman's side almost instantly with fear imbedded into his gut.

"Avery!" Steve's eyes widened as well, seeing his twin lying on the table strapped down. She didn't react to either of their voices at first, she seemed to be too entranced by what was going on in that head of hers – her eyes were drooping, she was under the influence of several drugs in her system by the looks of it. And this was what scared the two boys the most, she never reacted well too many of the current day's drugs.

Bucky reached forwards, grasping her cheeks gently, "Avery." He said to her, trying to sound comforting but her lack of reality understanding was really worrying him – fear was evident in both their faces. "Ava, it's me. It's Bucky and Steve."

The two names seemed to spark a reaction out of her, "Steve … James…?" She mumbled, giving a small giggle in her words. It only took another moment before she started to return back to normal, whatever it was inside of her must be starting to disappear. 

Steve let out a breath of relief, "Oh, thank god!" He murmured, proceeding to take off the restraints from her body. Bucky helped her sit up before hugging her with a tight hold, helping her stand on her feet – she nearly fell but he was able to catch her before she did. "We thought you were gone; that they killed you!" His voice cracked. Both men felt tears of relief catching in the corner of their eyes.

Ava shook her head, trying to get her mind straightened out. But when she looked up, she had to make a double take. She blinked once, then twice – in fact she had to blink about ten times to finally realise what she was seeing in front of her. "Steve?" She questioned with a slight draining wobble to her voice, her head tilted with confusion. She also had to question if her sanity had left her during her hold with Hydra. "I swear you were half my size … how'd you get so big?." Her brother was now the same height as her and honesty, she found it a little creepy…

Winter groaned, holding her head in her hands, a bold grimace formed on her lips. "Ava?!" The worried tone of Steve fluttered in her ear, his hands on both her shoulders – he must be kneeling in front of her now. "Avery!"

"Stop calling me that!" She growled back at him, feeling irritated from the pain in her head but also at the fact that he had called her someone she wasn't – she shook off his hands – flinching back as far as she could get, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. "I've already told you, it's Winter!" She forgot all about trying to be this Avery person again; the frustration was bubbling too much over the surface.

Steve couldn't help but flinch at the tone in her voice, it was one his sister was never capable of speaking – she had been too soft and defiant for a normal person. When he and Bucky found her on that mountain, Winter really had told him what she wanted to be called.

Winter stood at the edge of the mountain top, right next to the abandoned rail tracks. The cold wind blew through her hair, her arms were crossed as she waited for the two American heroes to find her.

"Ava?!" The voice of James Buchanan Barnes shouted, making her glance over her shoulder towards the voice. And then she saw them, they stood together in their hero uniforms – their shields tied to their backs.

"Avery…" Steve breathed beside Bucky. He was really seeing her; his twin sister really was alive – she was standing right there in front of him. It all felt real now … Ava was alive! He trusted Bucky and had always believed him to be telling the truth, and even with all the information Natasha was able to get for them about this Winter Soldier. None of it really felt real until now. His sister had survived like they had, just not in an iceberg that melted several years ago.

"That's not me." Was the first thing that came out of her mouth with a blunt tone. She stared at them, turning her body around so she was now facing them full-on. "Avery Rogers died 75 years ago." She continued, "I'm just her shell with a couple of memories – I'm Winter … not her." Winter couldn't help but feel like her words didn't mean much – that some of them were actually a lie … she felt guilty for saying this but it was the only way to ensure they wouldn't push her into speaking about these memories she's beginning to remember.

Winter cracked her neck to the side, leaning back again with a dulled enough brain. "I'd like to go back to my room now if you don't mind." With that she stood without waiting for an answer, walking away leaving Steve kneeling by the bench – looking forlorn and saddened about what had just happened.

…

Winter had practically stormed through the streets on the way back to the tower – she was sure a few people had been knocked over by her shoulder and she didn't care. She had to shove her hands into her pockets to hide the metal arm she had attached to her. The sweater did a lot to cover up but gloves were out of the question, unless they were fingerless ones and even then they wouldn't cover up the metal looking fingers – she just didn't care for them at all.

Now, she found herself in the training gym a few floors up – it was something Tony had put in when he found himself housing a bunch of superheroes. Winter was ignoring everything around her, just focusing on the large punching bag in front of her, punch after punch smacked against the object – it's force was so hard that small minuscule cracks began to form on the ceiling from where it hung.

The training room itself was pretty big; there was a small kitchen over to the side for snacks and water. There was pretty much a whole gym here, times two!

"Oooh." A voice sounded from behind Winter with amusement, "Someone's a pissed off little soldier." Winter gritted her teeth, not liking herself being a solider either – without even realising it, she smashed the bag too hard and it flung across the room – successfully making a large dent in the wall as it crashed into the plaster board – the bag fell with a thump to the floor. The poor thing was probably glad no more abuse was going to happen to it, well, not right now at least.

"What do you want, Stark?!" Winter countered back with clenched fists, not moving from her spot – just gazing at the bag with narrowed eyes. It still amazed her as to how much strength she held within this body of hers – it wasn't normal, but then, she would never be normal, would she?

Tony was leaning against the doorway, his arms folded with the usual cocky smile plastered on his face. He gave her a shrug. "Just simply seeing what kind of damage your causing to my home." He replied, not at all worried about the crack in the ceiling – the now broken punching bag or the large dent in the wall. "Besides, I wanna know what's making you so cranky. You looked fine when you went out with Popsicle no. 1."

Winter sighed, rolling her eyes at the name, "It's Steve." She felt her fists starting to unclench slowly, he was starting to take her mind away from her frightening thoughts.

"Whatever…" He waved her off, walking over to the breakfast counter – hopping up to sit on one of the high chairs. He picked a blueberry out of the bowl of fruits sitting in the middle before plopping it into his mouth. "So, what's up little Rogers?"

Winter took in a deep breathe in an attempt to keep in her twitching nerves, "It's Winter." She repeated, feeling like she's had to repeat it more than a hundred times. If she had stayed away, maybe she wouldn't be in this mess.

Tony scoffed, "Sure." His tone not believing it. "Whether you like it or not, you're the littlest Rogers in the family."

She huffed at that without even stopping herself, "Actually Steve's the youngest by not even a min-" She stopped this time, realising what she was saying. To the side, Tony grinned with accomplishment when he caught her.

"Ha!" He exclaimed, pointing a finger over to her. "Gotcha!" He threw another berry in to his mouth, chomping away at it with that grin still attached to his face. "You are little Miss Rogers after all!" He rolled his eyes, "And here I thought you were some kind of doppelganger here to twist the two pee brains of Steve and Barnes."

Winter groaned with annoyance, she ran her fingers through her hair – one either side of her head – her fingers squeezed at her the roots before releasing with aggravation. Why was this man even here? He was the most irritating being on this planet right now! "Shut up." She begged loudly, not wanting to get into this right now. "Just, please … shut up!" That was two first for her as The Winter Soldier – begging and saying 'please', that she knew of anyway. Even some of her Winter Soldier memories were scattered and gone for some reason.

This time he did stop to watch how she ignored the broken punching bag, making herself sitting against the wall – she tipped her head back till it hit the wall behind her. Winter closed her eyes, trying to make herself look blank like she had done so many times while being The Winter Soldier.

Tony frowned with interest, "Why are you so intent on ignoring who you really are?" He questioned, getting her to open her eyes and turn to him with a tired look.

Winter took a moment before blinking at the question, "Maybe because who I really am … isn't someone anyone knows yet, not even me." She replied, all the anger and frustration just seemed to drain out of her – she couldn't even be bothered to try and fight anymore. At least for now, she was done trying – no one was ever going to get it; and really, some part of her still didn't get it either.

Tony didn't seem to understand, "You're Avery Rogers." He told her, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. "The Cap believes it – your lover boy believes it. Hell, everyone in this building believes it!" He paused himself, "Why don't you?"

"No." She stopped him, "I believe it." She told him, looking serious for her own statement – if felt weird talking to him, it hadn't been long ago that she had been silent for pretty much the entire time. In the past, she would have never spoken out like this – let alone feel something deeper and more pronounced to go along with it. "It's just that…" She paused, trying to think of a way how he'll believe it. She sighed, "…For the past 75 years," She began again, knowing what to say now. "I've been the Winter Soldier with only several set missions to accomplish with my life – I was an emotionless, homicidal bitch if you want to be literal. And then, all of a sudden – I'm ripped away from everything I've ever know – being forced to remember things I've never even dreamed or felt before." Her metal hand gripped tightly around her human wrist and if she didn't have this extra not-normal strength, she'd had a hefty bruise in the morning. "I'm being forced to remember a past life – remembering a person who technically died when I was born, so to speak."

Tony interrupted her, confused. "Shouldn't you be happy about that though? Finding out Hydra were liars? That you actually had a family and loved ones missing you? Hydra were using you to kill innocent people weren't they?!" His father flashed through his mind; he didn't know or want to know whether she had been the one who killed his father but he couldn't help but remember it. Ever since Steve had told him about Hydra being possibly involved in a cover-up to kill his father; he still couldn't help but think about it every now and then when he looked at this woman.

"Somewhat." She admitted, some of the people she had killed were good – but most were also bad. The soldier part of her thought it was to fight a war that needed to be fought – the good fight. But this was the guilt and shame she'd have to live with every day now that she had all these feelings and thoughts riddling in this body of hers. "But that's not the point I'm trying to make." She said, "What I'm saying is – how can I be Avery Rogers when I've been The Winter Soldier for nearly a century and when I was her, all I did was kill and manipulate. And then, how can I be The Winter Soldier when I feel all this human crap blinding me. Avery Rogers was a strong but sweet girl, she looked after the ones closest to her, even the strangers on the street. She had a goal to make a difference in the world and the soldier destroyed that the moment Hydra gave the first mission. The Winter soldier was supposed to be a hatred-riddled soldier with nothing but a mission to look forward to. Now…" She shook her head, shrugging, "I'm a shell with a broken head. I may call myself Winter but…" She paused again, "…really, I'm not even her either. I'm neither of them – I just simply don't exist anymore." It hurt to know she had no place to really go; this was all she knew and had left in the world.

Tony seemed to understand because he nodded his head, he really had been listening closely. It made sense what she was saying; he just didn't know if the boys would understand like he did or anyone else would. By the way she was talking; it sounded like the Avery Rogers they knew and loved would never be coming back – and that was something he didn't know whether the two could survive even looking at her everyday with.

"It's not their fault though." He said to her after a moment, talking about the two American heroes.

Winter frowned in a confused manner, "What's not their fault?" Who were 'they'? Because there were several of them bouncing in her head right now.

"Steve and Bucky." He replied. "Steve just wants his sister back and Bucky wants that girl he fell in love with back in the day, well, back in his arms anyway. It's not their fault you can't decide who you want to be and it's not like you've actually explained anything to them like you did for me." He shrugged, "As far as I can see it, you're not only causing yourself pain but to them also. You need to really think about who you want to be before something really does get broken – and by broken, I mean something that can't even be fixed." He glanced to the damages in the room before grabbing another handful of berries, standing up from the stool and stretching out his limbs a bit. He started walking over to the door, nibbling on a berry. "And if you want my advice – I would decide what you want sooner rather than later." He gave her one last cocky grin and a wiggle to his eyebrows before leaving the room, needing to call the interior decorator who built the gym room in the first place.

Winter just watched him walk out … her mind reeling. Did, Tony Stark? Just offer really good advice? She didn't know him really, at all even – but hearing from the whispers of those Avengers and other people who actually work in the building, all he was is a cocky know-it-all millionaire with too much money for his own playful good.

But all she could think as he walked out was … 'Who did I really want to be?'

Note: 12 hour warehouse day again … *sighs tiredly* Now I should get to sleep cause I have another tomorrow…

On another note, I hoped you guys liked the Tony and Steve interaction with Winter/Ava, please let me know what you think! Lisa… [Follow, Fav, Review would be appreciated so much]


	3. The Last Hydra Base

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviors | The Last Hydra Base

Four Months Later…Sovakia…Hydra Base…

Snap … Crack … Punch … Kick

Winter bounced from side to side in combat mode – Hydra soldiers were coming in from all places, but she was too strong and too skilled for them to take her down so easily. They were falling limp like rocks.

Four months had passed since the talk Tony had given her, and since then, things had been moving along at a good smooth-enough pace – she was still remembering details here and there. But the biggest achievement so far was being able to talk to Steve and Bucky without acting like, well, a bitch.

To put it simple; the three of them made a deal. She would try her hardest in bringing out Avery Rogers and in return, they were not to push her. From now on she had decided to go with Ava (Avery) as being her name, but, in the field – she was to be called Winter. This was the compromise. She was still far away from being the real Avery Rogers but this was a start, and she was actually finding it pretty nice to bounce between the two personalities.

Since that day more Avengers Missions had been happening – these superheroes had given her the full briefing after a month of being around, telling her what was really going on – what had happened during wherever she was that made her miss the action. She must have been in the sleeping coma when this first alien fight happened in New York – she honestly wished she had fought in it, it sounded exciting in a way.

Beside her, doing the exact same things as her was Bucky – or well, Lieutenant America if you wanted to be 'superhero specific' during this moment in time. They actually work pretty well as a team Winter had fingered out, or again – Ava. She still doesn't have many of the earlier memories but she did remember some of when she fought side by side with the two American heroes in the past – before her altered personality. And this was a good thing. A thought occurred to her one night, that if she had regained these memories during her time as 'The Winter Soldier', maybe she wouldn't have tried to kill them last year – or even built up such a ridiculous hatred towards them. But everything that had been told to her was from two someone's she had presumably trusted, Dr. Zola and Agent Alexander Pierce. She felt like such a fool for being tricked by those hooligans – she should have used her training more to figure out what they're true goal was. She had been just a pawn in one of their spiteful and disgusting games.

"Winter!" Bucky yelled, flinging his shield towards her – seeing two men holding rifles in their hands, all about ready to shoot her.

Winter grabbed the object without even looking, directing it's oncoming force towards those two men – the shield bounced from one face to the other – effectively knocking them out cold … and probably breaking both their foreheads. That was sure to hurt in the morning … if they even wake up…

"SHIT!" Tony's annoyed curse blurted through their earpieces.

"Language." Steve's immediate reply was – this was something that released a chuckle from both Winter and Bucky. They shared an amused look. In the last three months, things between them have gotten a lot more comfortable – it wasn't just about the deal that was made between them. Winter knew and could slightly remember that Ava meant a lot to Bucky – so much so that they were to be wed. This gave her a different idea for their relationship until the day she regained her full memories back. They were to essentially start over – pretty much completely over.

…

"How about we start over?" Winter suggested, shrugging slightly at a loss for ideas. "I want you to show me the guy Avery fell in love with. Who knows … maybe something will … click?"

Bucky looked down for a moment, thinking. After everything each of them had been through … maybe this would be the best overall solution? "Okay." He agreed, nodding his head after a second. He slowly formed a grin on his lips, looking up to her and letting his hand raise up between them – remembering how they first met in the first place. "I'm James." He introduced himself. "James Buchanan Barnes."

Winter's shoulders slumped just a touch, her eyes looking … relieved? "I'm Winter." She started to shake his hand, not being able to help noticing how warm and soft his touch was. "Or … I-I go by Ava, Avery Rogers." She had hesitated for a second when she said Ava's name – but she said it, and it was a start. This new beginning will be good for everyone … they hoped.

…

"Jarvis." Bucky threw another soldier into the tree, less were coming at them now – these Hydra soldiers obviously got the picture that they'd be beaten into a bloody pulp if they tried to get near them. "What's the view from up there?"

"The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield." Jarvis's robotic voice replied almost instantly after being asked. "Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we've taken."

Winter chucked the shield back to Bucky, "There seems to be a lot more idiots to fight too." She muttered, grunting as she elbowed another gun-man in the face as he tried to get up from his attack. There were only five people left to take down – 'a piece of cake', she thought. Winter was glad to have a new uniform, it was much easier to maneuver in and was pretty stylish too considering her lack of clothing taste. The uniform was nicely shielded and had pockets for at least 5 different guns of her choice, including a couple of knife pockets too as a precaution.

"Loki's sceptre must be here." Thor declared, the power of his voice booming through. "Strucker couldn't mount this defence without it."He was determined to push forwards with all his might. "At long last."

Natasha's grunt came through next, "'At long last' is lasting a little too long for my taste, guys."

"Yeah,"Clint spoke sarcastically, "I think we lost the element of surprise."You could practically imagine him rolling his eyes as he said this.

A gunman just upside the hill was taking his aim at Winter, the man preparing to shoot when Bucky noticed him. His eyes widened, and without even thinking about it – his own gun was relinquished from its holder against his hip – immediately pointed towards the guy's head – his finger pulled the trigger and the bullet ricocheting through the now dead-man's skull. The body dropped with a thud towards the snowy ground.

Winter threw out her tightened fist once more, it harshly connected with the last soldier's face who dared to face up to her skill and strength. He dropped too with a thump, his breathing shallow but strong. He was officially unconscious. She looked up to notice the body upside the hill, Bucky was staring at the dead body with shock running through his veins, his eyes slightly narrowed with hatred towards the man. The guy had tried to kill the woman he loved. No one was going to touch her ever again he swore. He wouldn't let her life fall through his fingers again, he couldn't.

Winter blinked, thankful and relieved but also unsure at the same time. "Thanks." She muttered to herself, realising what he had just done for her – if he hadn't shot the man, she'd probably be the one with a bullet in the head. She had magnificent healing powers, but, a bullet to the head sounded a little too far stretched to live through.

Bucky heard the sound of her unsure voice, turning towards her – the glaring now thrown aside. He started to open his mouth to say something to her but Tony's interrupted him, what a pain in the ass this man was...

"Wait a second!" Tony exclaimed, bringing everyone's attention to him. "Is no one else going to deal with the fact that Cap just said 'language'?"

"I know." Steve replied, you could tell from his voice that he was probably huffing to himself at his mistake – he should have stopped himself and now he'll probably be the mockery of the day. "It just slipped out."

Winter rolled her eyes out of blue, "You were always the goody too-shoes in the relationship, Stevie." She quirked, not noticing the small grin forming on Bucky's face and evidently a similar look appearing on Captain America himself on the other end of the mic. After a moment she started to stare down at one of many bodies in front of her. She had killed them. She had killed pretty much most of these soldiers who were just trying to fight for what they believe in – it was Bucky who just tried to hurt them enough so they couldn't walk again ... or fight. She couldn't help but think how much of a monster she was – what she had become after all these years…

Bucky sighed, looking around at all the dead or wounded bodies of the Hydra agents – there were so many it was completely devastating to witness and commit. He turned to the woman he loved, frowning when he saw the blank look on her face. "We should head back to the others," He started, jolting her out of whatever thinking space she had been in. "Help them out, I think we're about good in this sector."

Winter blinked, turning away from the bodies towards him, "Yes." She nodded after another moment of thought, "They need us." She said with a determined manner. The Winter Soldier still felt the need to prove herself on the field, whether she needed to or not was another matter. She turned to him this time, "Is the bike broken?" She wondered, gesturing over to the motorcycle they had ridden in on – the one that looked similar to Steve's. It had taken some getting used to, riding on it, but she actually found an interest in these bikes – they were electrical or well, gas powered and fast. That was something that really seemed to peak at her interest.

Bucky cringed looking at his beloved bike that harbored a massive dent in the side, "Ahh." He pursed his lips, looking at the machine sadly, "That's a big mark." He started moving towards it, his shoulders hunching as he did – this bike had been with him since he was removed from the ice – he desperately and silently hoped Stark could fix it for him after this fight was over.

Winter was about to open her mouth, nearly going to ask why this particular bike was so cared for when there seemed to be hundreds of them out there as it was. But a piece of movement caught her eye towards the right, and without even realising it her eyes were widening in horror – a screamed name hallowing from her throat, "JAMES!" Her voice only came out as a blast of hot energy was fired towards Bucky, she felt the urge to move but her legs just didn't seem to understand the command.

Bucky's head was startled upwards as his real name being shouted, he didn't even begin to comprehend that Winter had been the one to his name out until something toasty like hot lava smashed against his shoulder, slivering up towards his neck – the heat ripped through the fabrics of his uniform and connected with his skin like a hot boil. He could practically feel his skin instantly cooking at the temperature – he fell backwards with a strangled gasp, his breathing deepening with pain.

As he toppled to the floor, Winter's legs finally seemed to regain their consciousness – she skidded towards Bucky's shield still lying in the snow and without a second thought, she flung it towards the large shooting machine that hurt her man. The energy tank blew to smithereens on impact at the force, she had literally thrown the rounded plate close to lightning speed before the impact.

A groan behind her made the attention snap back to the injured man lying on the floor – Bucky was lying there with shock in his eyes, he had never been this hurt before. His skin was burning alive and it was nearly killing his nervous system. She quickly skidded her way back to him, and with her heightened instincts she grabbed something from one of her back pockets – a small first aid damage kit. Everyone had one them just in case. She ripped it open without even seeing the damages first, but when she did – let's just say that she felt something else that had never even crossed her thought patterns before. A bubbling fear that Bucky wasn't going to make it crawled its way into her heart. There was a gaping hole in this shoulder, a small part missing from the skin of his neck to. The look of it actually made her want to throw up, this had never happened either.

"You're going to be okay." She shakily told him, her voice had never sounded so bad before – she hadn't even realised that a layer of salty water had begun to appear against her pupils. "Y-You're going to be fine." She grabbed an injection needle with a clear liquid rolling around inside before plunging it into the side of his neck that wasn't torn through.

Bucky's eyes were fluttering, his eyes blearily looking towards her through the pain – his heart constricted seeing her face. She looked so much like her, but she was so much not like her at the same time. "Y-You c-called me J-James." He stuttered, his words coming out with several stuttered breaths.

Winter swallowed as the remembrance of what she called him came back to her. She ripped open some kind of cream that numbed wounds – she started to dab the substance around the wound on his shoulder with shaky hands. She tapped the side of her earpiece, turning it on, "Bucky's hurt, bad – he needs immediate assistance. I repeat. Immediate assistance." She didn't even realise how fearful her voice sounded, she didn't even realise how much she mirrored Avery Rogers at that moment.

Bucky's hand jumped onto her own, the one that was about to place a large sterile patch on his shoulder. "Avery…" He breathed, pain radiating off him in waves. Darkness was starting to fill his vision, he could feel himself slipping away.

Winter licked her lips nervously, "Yeah." She let out a large breath, her shoulders heaving down for some reason. If anyone was to look at her right now, someone who wasn't Bucky – they would have thought acceptance radiated off her. Like she had accepted the name … but no one was there to witness this, so no one will ever really know sooner rather than later this time. No one will realise what she had finally figured out about herself. A tear finally made its way down her cheek as she looked down at him – still kneeling by his side, holding his hand with a comforting grip.

Bucky's eyes fluttered a little more, they started to slowly close. "I-I l-love y-ou…" With that his eyes closed as the darkness finally took him. Right then Winter knew the medicine was now working. Stark's substance keeps the body alive and the mind asleep until it can be repaired, adding that to Bucky's already heightened strains of DNA makes the injection a bonus.

Winter tapped the com again, "We need an E-Vac, now!" She ordered, not letting go on Bucky's hand – her heart beating a mile a minute as she gazed down at the dark-haired American hero.

So many things were beginning to riddle around in her head … hundreds of things were running through her mind. Winter could literally feel something snapping inside of her, something she hoped was good. That headache was coming back, the ones she used to get when memories were fluttering back into existence. She just hoped this would be over soon … she wanted to be real again, she wanted to be one person and one person only. But, that was the person she didn't know who to be anymore.

Darkness finally filled her consciousness and just as the E-Vac's were arriving … her eyes rolled to the back of her head, passing out as her body flopped to the side. Her hand was still in Bucky's but they were lying next to each other … who knows what will happen when either one will wake up.

Note: Thank goodness I finally got the time to get this done for you guys. I really hoped you liked it. And no, no one will die … so far… ooo, cliff hanger.

Anyway. Follow, Fav and Reviews please. I might even be able to get the next chapter up within a few hours. Let's pray I can get it done.


	4. Remember me, Avery Rogers

And here it is: special dedications for this chapter go to…  
Grace Brennan [Quotev] x2  
Nikki_letts [Wattpad]  
Cow-Lover2214 [Fanfiction]

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | Remember Me, Avery Rogers…

x- Inside Avery's head –x

1930 - 9 Years Old

"Steve…" Avery whined, pushing her brother in the shoulder. She was bored. Both their parents were out at some kind of party and they weren't allowed to go – not that the twins really wanted to anyway. She just wanted something interesting to do ... like maybe, go outside? "Stevie!" She pushed him once more, trying to get him to quit reading those stupid books of his. They were about superheroes saving people in some country, she didn't really care what it was and all she wanted to do was play with her twin.

Steve groaned, looking up to his older twin from his bed. She had barged in, again. He was annoyed, wasn't she supposed to be the more responsible and mature twin? Seriously, she's the older one – he should be the one moaning about boredom. "Go away, Ava!" He huffed, going back to reading his book but a flying pillow flew into his face – making him drop it.

Ava stood there with a glare, "Fine, then." She scoffed, looking both hurt and pissed that he didn't want to hang out with his own twin. "Read your damn book and notspend quality time with your only twin." She stood up sharply, crossing her arms around her small frame before sulking out of her brother's room like a little girl. Well, she was one though, so it didn't really seem all that out of the ordinary.

…

Ava was still sulking with loneliness on the back porch step in their small townhouse in Brooklyn. The sky was dark, you could see stars from miles away – they were beautiful to her. It made her think about what was really out there, not just using her imagination either – she longingly wondered what the future would be like when she grew up, how the world would evolve like her History teacher talked about. The teacher always had many theories and some of them were honestly pretty dumb. But others were really interesting at the same time.

She's never spoken out loud about her wonders; what she really believed – but for the future, she hoped for many things. That diseases would be cured, people would be living what they dreamed as a kid and most of all – maybe life among the stars would be nearer and better than she imagined. She believed there was life out there, but the only thing she didn't know was what to think about it, really … would it be a good idea to actually make contact with supposed beings from another planet?

"Ava?" Her brother's voice called from behind, he sounded a little hesitant. He probably saw how her body was slumped, like the only thing holding her body up was the bent knees in front of her. Ava's small arms were wrapped around her legs, they were pulled to her tightly as she looked up towards the sky – her fingers fiddling with several daisies that had grown in their backyard. She loved flowers ... they were so full of life. The only thing they had to worry about was getting enough sun and water; there was more to life when you're a human being.

Ava glanced over her shoulder, her lips forming a frown – not looking happy. "I thought you were spending quality time with that book of yours, it's all you ever do these days when mom and dad are out."

"It's just a hobby." He shrugged his shoulders, not really knowing what else to say. He loved his sister (she is his other half after all) but sometimes he just needed some time alone to himself; to read. He sat himself next to her, his head only reaching just below her shoulder. He had always been severely small for his age – he was born with a size defect, one that he didn't even remember what it had been called. Sometimes he envied her for that, sometimes he wished he had been the average size one while she had been the small one. But something told him that being like this was a sign for something, he didn't know what, but he knew it would give him a future. And as crazy as that might sound, he believed it. "And, I pretty much play with you all the time – we hang around together literally all our days, at school … at home. Yeah, we're twins but we need to spread apart a little. To grow."

Ava put on a thoughtful face for a moment before giving in, knowing he was right – he always had been. Her chin slumped into the palm of her hand, "Fine." She grumbled, still not happy about it … but she understood. Maybe she could try make some friends? Ones that were girl's, maybe?

Suddenly she grinned, tapping Steve on the shoulder out of the blue. "Tag. You're it." She exclaimed, jumping to her feet before running inside the house – about to find a hiding spot where he wouldn't be able to tag her back.

Steve let a chuckle fall through his lips, grinning too in an identical manner. Maybe spending tonight playing wouldn't be so bad? He sprung to his feet, following her in. Determined to catch her this time and win.

 

19th September, 1932 11 Years Old

An 11 year old girl walked hand-in-hand with an older gentleman with very similar features to her own. The two had the same hair and eye colour, the little girl's hazel eyes sparkling in the darkness of the night. This girl was Avery Rogers and the older male was her father, Adrian Rogers. Her father was wearing a nicely made suit, his facial hair shaven and the look of professionalism running through his attire and stature.

They were on their way home from Adrian's company's banquet; he had won the prize for Employee of the year. Juliet Rogers hadn't been able to come this time due to Avery's twin, Steve falling ill with breathing issues. The doctor had recommended him not to be left alone but he also needed bed rest for a couple of days, this was why neither had been able to come. Juliet had insisted that her husband go and accept that reward and take Avery with him. They were also having a rough patch in their marriage too, not that they would ever reveal that to their kids.

"Can I hold it, dad?" Avery asked her father, looking up to him with pleading eyes – wanting to hold the fist-size silver statue in her small child hands. Her father had been with this company for more than twenty years – in fact, it was only yesterday for the anniversary.

Adrian sighed, passing the object to his daughter carefully. "Be careful, dear." He warned her with a light tone. He smiled to himself when he watched her take a hold of it, looking happily at the thing like it was a masterpiece. She didn't even know how he had become Employee of the year – if she found out when she was older, when she understood how this world really worked. She would be crushed. It was always such a joy to see that happy face of hers and seeing the similar one appear on his son's face too. He felt disheartened that his wife and son couldn't attend the banquet, but knew inside that his children's health would always mean more than an award. He placed his palm against her shoulder, keeping his daughter close to him – the atmosphere was dark, they were starting to cross the bad part of town. He never liked his children coming near this place.

Out of nowhere a gunshot filled the air before the air went silent – no birds whistling, no grasshoppers chirping, just … nothing. Ava frowned from her spot, stopping as her father did – what was that sound? "Daddy, what was that?" She wondered out loud – it was something she had never heard before, but when she heard nothing from him, she looked up … but what she saw made her eyes widen with confusion and horror. "Daddy?!" She exclaimed in a small voice, watching as his face whitened and a dribble of blood crawled out of his mouth. There was a bullet hole just above the place where his heart rested. The hand holding her shoulder released from its grip, his body tumbling back to the ground with a thud – he gasped, pain finally reaching his nervous system.

The statue in Avery's hand fell out of her grasp, smashing to the floor with a shatter.

"Avery…" Adrian gasped, praying his daughter was there and safe – darkness was already starting to take him … he knew what was happening, and it was all his fault. He should have expected this … but why did it have to be now while his daughter was with him.

Ava's bottoms lips wobbled, she seemed to understand what was happening and it started to crush her. "D-Daddy?" Tears began to spring from the corners of her eyes, pouring down the sides of her cheeks. "Daddy, don't leave!" She was the daddy's girl – she needed her father … she prayed to god that he'd be okay but her gut knew that would never happen. Even for an 11 year old, she was very smart for her age. "Please don't leave me!" She exclaimed, grabbing onto her father's arm, starting to sob as she watched the life fade in her father's eyes.

"You be a good girl, Ava – you hear me?" He told her, his breaths coming out with low stutters. He could feel his life force being sucked away quickly. "Y-You're going to be a g-great person sweetheart, d-don't let anyone else tell you differently."

Ava clung on tighter, "Don't say things like that." She knew what this was – it was one of those goodbye speeches, but she didn't want him to go!

"Don't let them change you, follow your own path." A tear dropped to the ground after draining down the side of his face, he looked towards her with the love of a parent in his eyes – proudness filling them, "I l-love you, my little girl…" And with that, the last of the light that had originally been in his pupils left the world – Ava's breathing came out in gasps and she screamed, her hollow of pain echoing through the night. The grief was unbearable – she was an 11 year old girl who had witnessed the murder of her own father and it was a murder that had never even been solved – just long forgotten and so had this memory, until now…

…

26rd November, 1932 – 1 Week Later

Avery stood next to her twin, watching as they lowered her father's casket into the ground – covering the hole with tons of mud and patting it down. She had been completely numb, all she could think was her father's last words running through her head. She honestly didn't know what to think right now – she hadn't told her mother, or Steve for that matter about what he had said to her before dying right before her eyes.

A nudge came from the side on her shoulder, Steve was looking at her with concern in his own twin manner. He knew how much closer she had been to their father than he had been – she had never looked this distant in all their lives. They haven't played together in days … she had hardly even talked during that time either, probably only a few words at the most. He was beginning to worry more than average. "Ava…" His voice riddled with unease towards his other half. "Please, talk." He begged, missing the sound of her voice.

Ava just shook her head, that night playing again in her head – her breathing started coming out heavier as it did, her throat was choking up with tears – she couldn't stop it. Steve reached forwards on instinct, bringing her to him – wrapping his arms around her as she burst into tears. She clutched onto him tightly, so much that it was making it hard to breath, but he didn't care. His sister needed him and he would always be there for her like she would be for him when he was upset or alone.

He didn't know what had happened but he knew not to push … he just hoped his bubbly twin would be back into shape in no time, maybe she would tell him what happen as they grew up?

 

1937 17 Years Old

"You can't know that!" Ava insisted, clutching a History book to her chest, walking around the grounds of the school with James Buchanan Barnes (Bucky) as she went next to her.

"Oh," James chuckled, nodding his head in an exaggerated manner. "I so can." He countered. They were debating about how the future will turn out. He knew there would be cool machines in the future like flying cars – something of which he had a feeling that the guy Stark was in the middle of doing. It was all in the newspaper last week after all.

"Uh, no." She said again, not being able to help the grin that formed on her face. The two of them had been hanging out together a lot lately, and she loved it. They've been best friends for over three years so far – Steve had been the one to introduce them. She longed for the guy to ask her out already, but so far it's like he hasn't had any major interest in her yet and this hurt. It hurt more than bad. Like apocalyptic bad.

He held up his hands with surrender, "Alright, alright." He exclaimed, looking amused and they chuckled once again – flopping onto the grassy floor under a tree. He sighed, leaning back on his elbows while Ava laid on her back just staring up at the clear blue sky – her book set aside next to her. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" He asked after a moment, looking a little hesitant.

"Um," She thought about the question for a second before answering, "Probably just laying around at home, doing homework." She shrugged, not looking too excited about the concept but if she wanted that future she dreamed, she would have to work hard to achieve it. And that was something she was okay with.

"Well, um." James began, clearing his throat as he sat up properly – looking towards her. "Would you … would you like to come out with me?" Ava's head snapped up, her eyes and ears not being able to help restarting with shock. Was he … asking her out? "Would you like to go to that diner around the block, you know, 'Glenn's Garden'?" He shrugged, looking a little shy about the question he was asking. "I know you love it there."

Ava's mouth dropped, her silent gestures making her look like a dying fish in need of water. "You're asking me out?" Her voice coming out with disbelief.

James let out a breath. "Yeah." He nodded, a determined look on his face. "Yeah, I am."

She finally started to smile a little shyly herself, but also streaming with giddiness, "Okay." She nodded, looking happy and excited – these feelings bubbled under her skin like fireworks. "I'd love to." A loud bell rung signally the end of lunch. It didn't bring down her spirit though, she grinned – pecking a small kiss on James's cheek – her own skin flushed bright red, blushing in against the heated sun. "I'll see you after school." With that she practically skipped to class – probably looking like a looney as she did. But she didn't care. One of her dreams were coming true.

 

1939 19 Years Old

"Are you sure about this?" James asked in a worried tone. Already seeing the made-up look plastered on his girlfriend's face. She had been talking about joining the army ever since before graduation; she wanted to help these scientists help make a better future and he got that. He was just worried about their lack of time together. She'll be gone for long periods of time until she got to the stage where she could finally move closer to home. And that was a 6 month duration as it was.

"It'll be fine." Ava insisted, holding her boyfriend's hand in a comforting manner as they walked towards the nearest park. She really wanted to do this – she needed to make herself feel needed in the world. She didn't want to be a normal girl going through life with a script – she wanted to do something with her life, make a good change in the world. And most of all, she wanted her father to be proud of what she had been able to accomplish.

James stopped her walking, turning her towards him – holding up his hands so they now grasped her cheeks gently. He gazed into her eyes, seeing this pure determination – it was something he deeply loved about her. Once her heart was set on something – she would always achieve it. "I don't want you to go." He said selfishly, he wanted her to stay with him for-good. Every moment they were apart he felt lonely and depressed, he needed her in his life. If she wasn't, his life didn't really mean anything anymore.

Ava's mouth formed a sad smile, she would miss him dearly too during this time away - just as much as being away from Steve for the first time in their lives would be. But she needed to do this – she needed to get out and explore this world, make it better for their hopeful future together. She couldn't help but think how lucky she was … her dreams were actually coming true, it truly felt unbelievable sometimes. "It's only 6 months." She tried to comfort not only him, but also herself. Six months was a long time in her book – it probably was in his too.

James sighed, finally letting go of her cheeks, now just reaching out to hold both her hands against his chest, right beside his heart. "Fine." He finally gave in, shaking his head. But then he groaned, a quirk forming on his lips, "So, what your telling me is … that I have to put up with your brother on my own for all that time … I'll be dead before you get back." He joked.

Ava chuckled with amusement, "Stevie isn't that bad." She insisted but then cringed, it was only last week that he had found out about their relationship – it was right after finding out that she had been accepted for this opportunity. And boy, was Steve shocked and it wasn't light in the way he had to find out…

Avery had a large grin on her face, facing James. "I got it!" She exclaimed, waving around the piece of paper with her acceptance on it. She jumped up and down with exhilaration.

James grinned, watching as his girlfriend with excitement. He was stood against the wall, the letter had literally just come in the mail and she couldn't have opened it fast enough.

In all the excitement their lips met with a passionate kiss, they groaned into each other's mouth and even James's hands were starting to slide up against the sides of her body – Ava's back hit the hallway wall, their lips still mashing together – forgetting about the world around them.

"What is all the racket…" The voice drifted and footsteps down the stairs ceased. "AVERY?! BUCKY?!" A familiar voice snapped them sharply from their passionate frenzy – their eyes widening, Bucky jumped away from his girlfriend, effectively bumping into the front door key-table, braking it as it fell to the floor.

Ava and Bucky looked up guiltily towards the stairs, seeing Steve looking between them like a gaping fish – he blinked rapidly, rubbing his hands over his eyes in a furious manner – probably wondering if what he had seen was real. "What the…" He blinked, "You were about to, uh…" Steve's voice cut off, his eyes rolling to the back of his head – passing out.

Ava blinked this time, wondering if what had just happened … really happened. 'Did my brother just faint?' she asked herself in disbelief. 'Oh crap, I'm in trouble when he wakes up…'

"But seriously…" She continued, gripping his hands tightly with her own – trying to forget about the ways Steve could make her boyfriend pay while she's gone. "…you'll be fine. The two of you will have each other and you can do all those manly things, whatever that's supposed to mean these days." She gave him a kiss, making sure it last more than a couple of seconds. "We'll both be fine…" She whispered so only they could hear the words.

 

1939 6 Months Later

A slow piece of music was playing from the piano in the corner of the entertainment hall, couples of all ages were dancing together on the dance floor or eating together at a couple's table. Ava had returned, looking a little more weary but happy to be back. James held her in his arms, slowly moving her from side to side with the music – as promised before she left, they were having that date each had promised. Both had missed the other and knew exactly what they were doing later – all they wanted to do was be with each other.

"See," Ava mumbled, her head resting against her lovers shoulder – breathing in his familiar scent, the one she missed so damn much after all this time away. "I said everything would be okay."

James hummed as his chin rested on top of her head, enjoying this moment – he wanted it to last but knew it wouldn't, real life was going to hit them again soon enough, "You were right … you always are." He chuckled, knowing how right that statement was. "I'm just glad your home … and I know Steve is too."

Ava's mouth quirked, "So he didn't try to kill you because of our, uh, little interaction in the hallway." Steve had been a little distant before her leaving – it did hurt but she kind of understood. It's probably going to be a huge shock to find out your sister had been secretly dating your best friend for over two years. Boy, she would be pissed too.

James chuckled, pulling his head away from hers, looking towards her with a shaking head. "Nah." He said, "I tried to set him up with a couple of girls … but none of them seemed to take though." Shrugging his shoulders, he knew that Ava would want her brother happy – besides, Steve was the closest thing to her he had while she was gone. He needed that connection to stay friends with him.

"He'll find someone." Ava nodded with determination, meeting his gaze. She knew her brother would find the one like she had with James, it was just going to take time. "It's fate and I believe such a thing exists somewhere in this Universe."

 

1944 Previously brought up in 'Alive but not Awake'

Ava's back leaned against Bucky's chest, the field of flowers surrounding them creating a romantic scene as they just sat there in silence, listening to the small birds flying above them and in the lively trees.

She felt Bucky's chin rest on her shoulder beside her ear, "I love you, Avery Lola Rogers." He breathes in her ear – making her giggle as a tickling sensation rounded her neck. Her head turned to him, leaning in her forehead against his so her lips were almost touching his, "I love you too, James Buchanan Barnes." She kissed him.

Bucky broke the kiss as the both returned from each other, gasping for air, "So, are you ready for the surprise?" He asked, a teasing grin plastered on his lips as he caught his breath back.

Ava brought her face away from his slightly with a confused look, "The field and food wasn't the surprise?" She thought it would have been, it's been the best one today so far.

Bucky grinned, "Nope, stand up." He told her as he grabbed her hips gently and hoisted her up onto her feet making her stumble slightly. "I want to do this properly."

Ava chuckled as she balanced herself and turned to him, "Do what exactly?" She asked, suspicious at what he was going to do.

He just stayed silent and brought something out of his jacket pocket, he got down on one knee as he held both of his lovers hands with care. He looked up at her face and he saw her looking shocked, but her eyes were brimming with tears as she realised what was happening.

"Avery Lola Rogers," Bucky began, he looked into her eyes as he spoke – love and adoration pouring out of his own, his heart was beating fast in a nervous anticipation, "Ever since I met you, I've felt a pure connection. The first time I saw you, all I could think about was how beautiful you were, how caring and how honest everything about you was. As the years have gone past – my love for you had both grown and exceeded past anything I would've dreamed in my wildest times." He took a deep breath, "For a long time, I have always imagined being with you and only you for the rest of my life; and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Ava watched as he opened the small box he had gotten from inside his jacket; inside was a beautiful engagement ring. The sun reflected of it with a unique tint as the ball of fire started to lower in the sky.

"Ava," Bucky's voice wavered in hope as he finally got to the point, "Will you marry me?"

Warm and salty tears fell down the side of her cheeks as her head nodded in a 'Yes' gesture, her voice unable to work as another one of her dreams just came true.

 

1945 24 Years Old

Steve, Bucky and Ava were standing upon the edge of a snowy cliff next to a zip wire connected to an opposite mountain, above a train track – one of which Dr. Zola would be passing any minute.

Bucky pulled Ava aside quickly – knowing they didn't have much time left until the mission was to begin, "Ava." He started, fear for her safety evident in his tone. "Are you sure about this?" Yes, she had been granted permission to join them because of her excelled training and weaponry skills. But he still had the right to be t least fearful for her life. He couldn't lose her; they were engaged to be married, they were going to spend the rest of their lives together when this was all over. He wanted all three of them to have long happy lives after this – they've done enough fighting for their country, it's about time they rest and work on their own futures, not the worlds.

"I'll be fine." Ava told him, feeling like it had been the hundredth time she's had said it already. "We'll all be fine." She didn't have any doubts or regrets about joining – should would have felt guilty for not going if she were to stay behind, she wasn't about to let her boys risk their lives without her. All for one or not at all. She kissed him, pulling back with a smile. "Trust me, everything will turn out okay."

Oh, how wrong she was…

 

Note: Honestly, again, i forgot i had this up on this site and another. Another note, i will not be updating for another 3-4 weeks due to my laptop being gone for repair. I really hope i can update again, but probably not. I hope you guys like this chapter, let me know what you think...  
Lisa.


	5. Remember me, Winter Soldier

Chapter Dedications…  
ForeverAMaiden [Fanfiction]  
Kiara Rosebud {Similar Idea} [Quotev]  
BTW_Its_Kiera [Wattpad]

Okay, so this will have a little Ava in it to begin with both from flashbacks for Winter and her process into become Winter at the start. I hope you like this, after this chapter it’ll go back to the movie.

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | Remember me, Winter Soldier   
x- Inside Winter’s Head -x

1941 [Hours after she fell from the train] – Previously on ‘Alive but not Awake’  
Ava's hazel-nut eyes snapped open in panic, she could feel the thick lining of sweat pouring down her face – her breathing was shallow as she felt no pain surging through her own body, only numbness. Rolling her numb head to the side she caught sight of dozens of surgical equipment and machines near where she was lying. Was she in a hospital? Did she actually manage to survive that fall? She thought to herself, blinking rapidly to rid the bleariness from her vision.

"Steve…" She whispered hoarsely, but her tongue felt like lead. Her words slurred at they flowed out of her mouth, "Bucky…" She got no reply, she felt tears sting her eyelids as she closed them to blink them away – needing to be strong no matter what. She willed for Steve and Bucky to come in at any moment, tell her everything would be okay and that she would be fine; but she didn't even know where she was or how she was alive. She couldn't remember how she got there; why could she remember falling from a train, why was she in a medical room? Where was everyone?

Ava felt slight relief rise up in her heart as she felt her body starting to come back to life, she noticed that her body felt tied to the table that she was currently lying on; but instantly she started to feel sick when she looked at her left arm. Her breathing quickened in panic and horror, her whole left arm looked like it had been ripped off – she wanted to puke but something was stopping her from doing so. Ava started to beg silently in her head; that all this show was just a dream, that she was somewhere in one of the base camps; safe and under a high density medicine that was causing her to hallucinate while being under.

"Steve!" She shouted, louder than before but feeling a tear fall on her paled cheek. "Bucky!" She heard footsteps coming towards her from outside the metal door connecting her room to a hallway. "I'm in here!" She cried, begging for someone to save her – she was pretty sure that whoever had her, were no friends of hers. She heard the lock of the door open, making her head tilt upwards slightly but not too far so her neck would be strained too much. Ava felt the makings of a huge headache coming on.

Ava felt her eyes widen in fear as she felt trapped, suddenly wishing she was still under whatever drugs that kept her asleep. Standing in the doorway was one of the men she despised the most, Dr. Zola. "Ah, Miss Avery Rogers." Dr. Zola spoke, his accent becoming prominent as his smirk widened at her discomfort. "Welcome back," He greeted, looking at Ava like she was a piece of meat, "You know, it wasn't nice of your brother and boyfriend to take you away so soon." He placed a thoughtful look on his face, still holding the menacing feeling of doom for Ava, "However, I feel as if it were the best choice – now we will be able to give you an extra ability to fill that missing arm of yours."

Ava gritted her teeth, wanting to punch the guy in the face – she had no idea what he did to her before Steve and Bucky got to her, but something didn't feel settling in her stomach, "What are you doing to me?!" She demanded, clenching her right fist as she got the feeling back in it, "Why am I here?"

Zola's smirk became wider, "You will be our greatest weapon, Miss Avery." He told her, he pressed a small red button on one of the side tables, "You will serve Hydra to the best of your abilities when we are done with the reconstruction."

"Only Steve and Bucky get to call me that, now let me go!" She yelled at him, trying to budge out of the binds that were holding her down but there was no use – there was no way she had enough energy to get out of there or even fight the weasel.

Zola tutted her with his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shaking his head in mock disappointment, "Oh, Avery. They won't be coming for you." Ava shook her head not believing him, "But, no matter. By the time we're finished with you, you'll want to kill them with more than pure vengeance." His chuckle sounded hollow and cold, like he knew there was nothing standing in the way. He would carry out his original plan for Ava Rogers and made damn sure that those two boys would pay for what they did to Hydra. Their plan would succeed in the positive future of the world.

The metal door opened once again and 9 different people started to pile in. Ava's heart started to race, feeling dread and desperation of just wanting to go home to Bucky and her twin turn back up to a high level. Zola turned to them, "Let us proceed." The people started to file around Ava, who laid struggling in her current position.

"No…" Ava whispered as someone injected her with a clear blue liquid into her forearm, she felt ice fill her veins as her vision started to darken. She vaguely heard Zola say, "Goodbye, Miss Avery." His cold voice sounded miles away as Ava's eyes closed, her head flopping to the side – looking dead to the world again as the scientists began to work on their true weapon.

 

1949 – Experimentation   
“Stop it … please.” Avery begged as another jolt of electricity flowed through her veins, her eyelids drooping as the energy continued to blast through her. She was strapped to a chair, something fastened around her head with a tight hold – her hands and feet were bound to the arms and legs of the seat, preventing her from making any attempt at an escape … but even then, there was no way out. Tear stains were evident on her face, sweat poured against her skin and seeped into her tattered clothing.

Four years and still, no help has come. Hope was fading from her grasp, she knew that if anyone was looking for her, she would have been found by now. She couldn’t help but feel betrayed by everyone she’s known … her brother and James being the main people. They should have known that if her body wasn’t where it dropped that she could still be alive. But still, no rescue had come. For four years and counting, she had been subjected to experiments after experiments – she officially knew what a rat felt like in it’s position and she sympathized greatly.

The scariest part about being stuck here – Hydra was finding ways to wipe her memory, or at least alter it, also stopping her growth so that she was to stay 27 forever until she were to eventually die from a battle. This was what frightened her the most. They were also trying to figure out ways for her memories to be shifted into lies – after overhearing one of Zola’s conversations, he wanted her to hate the American heroes. Her love and brother. Another traitor tear fell from the crook of her cheek when she pictured her two boys, imagined them bursting through those titanium doors and whisking her away from this place.

Another thing, she could actually feel herself slipping away – anger and other terrible emotions were starting to hound on her. It was beginning to frighten her that these people might actually succeed before she’s rescued, if that day was to ever come.

Suddenly she gasped, the energy ceasing under her skin – her body jerked, she felt like crying but she tried her best not to – she needed to be strong, she wouldn’t break.

“Ah, good news Miss Avery.” Dr Zola appeared in the door frame, entering and telling the experimentalist to leave them alone for a moment. He had a smug grin plastered on his face.

Ava gritted her teeth, her fists clenching the best she could. “What.” She spat, imagining herself wringing her hands around his fat neck – choking him to death until his eyes popped out of his skull.

“Wonderful,” He grinned menacingly, noticing that violent look casting in her eyes, “The new solution is working – why I never tried this before is beyond me. Maybe I’m just a little too stubborn for my own good, well, you’d know all about that wouldn’t you?” He smirked, “But then, he probably never imagined his creation would be used on his own daughter, did he?”

Ava looked towards him with a confused look, but her features were shifting to anger when his assumption was starting to come to her in full – was he saying?... “What the hell are you talking about?!” She demanded an answer. A truthful one.

He leaned over, his hands placed on the sides of the chair’s arms just above her tied up ones. His face was less than a foot from her, it was close enough that you could see his toxic breath – it smelled like stale milk and dried up bread. “Didn’t you ever wonder who your father actually worked for? … Why he actually died?”

Ava was silent, her brain racking around trying to find a simple and truthful answer for her long dead father. “He was some kind of inventor.” She replied, hating that she sounded so unsure about her answer – she never really did try to find out anything after he died, she had been too young to even do anything helpful. “My father died by an idiot with a gun.”  
Dr Zola clicked with his mouth and tongue, shaking his head with disappointment. “Oh, no.” He denied, looking mournful but everyone knew it was a fake look. “We were the ones to take him out – he was becoming such a nuisance you see. He had the answers we needed, which he wouldn’t give of course – let’s just say he was more of a burden that needed to be thrown away.”

Tears sprung against her pupils again. “You … killed my dad?” Anger brewed under the surface, shifting into rage. The newly attached metal arm was jumping with action and rage … if only she could put in a little bit more strength – she could smash his head into a wall and escape.

“Well, not me to be exact. But, yes. It was Hydra that disposed of your father – what a tragedy it was. It was actually how we found you, we planned this all before you even hit puberty.” He said in a sarcastic manner, still looking painfully smug. “Your father was simply a bastard that needed put down.”

That was it. Something snapped in Ava, the metal arm snapped through its ties and her eyes were set on Zola – a feeling inside of her that had never come out before, something she had never felt before – she wanted to kill … and Zola was going to be her first victim of the night. Her metal arm squeezed his windpipe tighter, and tighter … until her fantasy came true. His eyes literally popped out of his head while his body remained black and blue, body pieces scattered around the room.

This was the night that Dr Zola’s body died – although, his mind did remain in a computer. And this was the last day Ava had ever retained anything of herself left – the day she was wiped clean from her past and present, this was the day she became ‘The Winter Soldier’.

1967 – The First Mission gone bad  
“Your mission is…”

Standing upon a hill that overlooked a small town was a woman, but this wasn’t just any woman. She was the woman, Hydra’s weapon of pure destruction. Eighteen years later and she was already rumored around several parts of the world, America being the main place of topic. This woman, was named, ‘The Winter Soldier’.

The Winter Soldier had long hair as dark as coal, smears of pasted grit smudged around her eyes to hide at least part of her identity – Hydra didn’t tell her who she used to be, but this was something that was kept secret and will always be kept secret. They didn’t want anyone to recognize her, not that someone would anyway unless they were Captain America or Lieutenant America, or one of their fanatics. But even then, it was unlikely to happen - the girl she used to be was considered and claimed dead – no body left to be found and was eaten by scavengers of buried under layers upon layers of thick snow.

This woman was nearly emotionless; for ten years so far she had been under the influence of Hydra and she hasn’t aged a day. She had been spending a vast amount of time in the coma chamber but even then, she still didn’t look a day older than when she first started. Hydra’s plan was working – she was beginning to be the exact weapon they hoped for in their secret strategy for the future.

But the reason she was here today; was to complete a mission. Every time she was given a mission – she was told to complete it without remorse, without guilt and without shame. She simply wasn’t allowed to feel anything, so they trained her to shut these emotions out, among others, hidden within another part of her head where they couldn’t be touched. This is why it took eight years until she was ready to go out by herself, until she could be trusted not to sway away from her duties. Her mind had been warped and manipulated; controlled in a way where nothing of the old her would come crashing back in, wanting it’s the body back. Hydra was making sure that Winter would be staying in that body – it was just an added bonus that Ava’s memories weren’t fighting back – they assumed it was because her two precious boys were dead, something of which had been said to her at one point after killing Zola.

CRASH.

A door from a small detached house flew off from its hinges, you could hear the piece of wood smacking into a nearby wall, probably one of the hallway ones. A small girl’s scream echoed through the house at the loud sound, frightfulness filling it to the brim. 

Winter stepped through the threshold with a large gun held in her hands, moving past the rubble without even a glance to make sure she wasn’t stepping on any herself. Dust from the construction material stuck to her black suit like glue – her long hair was tied into a long loose braid to avoid it getting in her face as she worked.

She could hear movement coming from the living room area. She tilted her head and listened carefully, she could carefully hear two breathing patterns with her enhanced hearing. Her metal arm clenched with anticipation, she loved the feeling to kill – this was also the other thing Hydra made sure to do, they knew that the more she loved to kill, the less likely she was to skip out on them and go rouge. They provided her with action and identity secrecy, what more could she possibly ask for?

When she entered, she saw a man with long shaggy hair that looked uncut for years. He wore round glasses, his skin was pale and sickly looking – his body was shaking, he was scared. Behind him was someone significantly smaller than himself, it was a little girl maybe 5 years old. Winter noticed the little girl but paid no attention to her, she continued to stare at the man – he was the target. And he knew it, the fear was written all over his face. He silently wished his daughter was away from this place, she was going to be scarred for life if he were to die right then and there.

“Just leave her out of it.” He begged, tears running down his face, keeping his little girl behind him away from the gun that was now pointed at him. “She’s just a little girl, she’s done nothing. It’s me you want.” He should have known his employers would have known about what he was planning to do – he shouldn’t have done it. His mistake was going leave his daughter an orphan. 

Winter didn’t reply, she didn’t even blink – she had no care for the girl, she could be with her father until her dying breath for all she cared. But he was the mission – and she intended to complete it just like with every other one she’s been assigned.

BANG.

A shot rang out, a scream from the little girl followed straight after. The man staggered, a gasp running out of his mouth – pain ratcheted through his body as it tumbled to the ground, and with the best effort he could, he stopped himself from falling on his little girl. Winter watched as the man’s breath ceased within less than a minute, much quicker than her previous victims had done in the past. She was about to step forwards, to finish off the girl before reporting back - but a sobbed call stopped her in her place.

“Daddy?!” The little girl screamed, shaking her father – she was sobbing her poor little heart out with pain, her eyes were widened in horror as her small frame crumpled beside his own body. She watched as her father drifted away from her, her daddy was dying. The little girl had hardwood-colored hair, her skin pale with spotted freckles surrounding her cheeks and she wore a tiny flowered dress that was now covered with splatters of her father’s blood. “Daddy?! Please wake up, don’t leave me Daddy!” She cried, clutching her father’s arm tightly, begging him to wake up and take her away from this place … away from the scary lady. “Daddy?!”

Winter’s vision suddenly went dark where she stood, it’s like she had no control over her body.

Ava’s bottoms lips wobbled, she seemed to understand what was happening and it started to crush her. “D-Daddy?” Tears began to spring from the corners of her eyes, pouring down the sides of her cheeks. “Daddy, don’t leave!” She was the daddy’s girl – she needed her father … she prayed to god that he’d be okay but her gut knew that would never happen. Even for an 11 year old, she was very smart for her age. “Please don’t leave me!” She exclaimed, grabbing onto her father’s arm, starting to sob as she watched the life fade in her father’s eyes.

Winter stumbled back from this, a gasp coming out of her throat. Her eyes blinked in confusion, she looked around at her surroundings, feeling out of place and different at the same time. “What the hell was that?” She growled to herself, feeling the pain fly away as her consciousness fully returned. She found herself leaning against the wall, her gun had fallen to the floor during her moment of darkness. 

“You hurt my Daddy!” The little girl screamed, glaring at the dark-haired woman who looked drunk on her feet.

This made Winter look back up, looking to her with something that looked to be uncertainty but unknowing. ‘Where was she?’ She asked herself, ‘What happened?’ Everything started coming back now, she was here to complete a mission. But, isn’t that what she’s just completed? Why had she felt the need to kill the girl? She was just a child.

Forgetting about her gun, she just stared at the girl, “What’s your name?” 

The small girl sobbed more, “Kathy.” She sniffed, burying her head into her father’s chest. “I want my Daddy back!” 

“He had to die.” Winter’s bluntly replied, not looking sorry again – but she continued to stare at the girl with an emotion unknown to her. “I’m Winter.”

“Why?” Kathy’s bottom lip wobbled in her attempt to stop herself from crying. She didn’t understand any of this, why wasn’t her daddy up and giving her those hugs she loved when she got scared.

Winter didn’t have an answer, “I’m not sure.” She told the little girl with a pinch of uncertainty in her voice, “I just do as I’m told. I complete a mission and then report back.” She didn’t know why she started talking to the girl but something inside of her was telling her to. That flashback came back to her; who was this Ava and that older man? “I must go.” She told the girl, “Keep hidden, they won’t find you if you run. Pretend you were never here.” She instructed. She bent down to get her gun, quickly leaving the site before anything else were to happen. 

But all that ran through her mind was … what was that flash? Why hadn’t she killed that girl, when she had been so determined to do the deed beforehand?

And there was one thing she knew for sure; something inside of her was telling her not to report this incident, it meant nothing so it was going to stay nothing.

…

Over the next ten years more events like this occurred, but as time went on, she began to get more and more of those visions. One of another girl that looked like her, and soon after that she began to remember a dark-haired boy along with another that looked very much like herself. A lot of confusion was appearing because of this, she really didn’t know what to think anymore. 

It wasn’t until she decided to act and try and find information about herself. Questions and more questions kept bugging her, so she used her training to spy on the individuals at Hydra the best she could – and at one point, she even slipped into the computer room that stored every piece of juicy information.

This was when she found out the real truth of who she was, how much of a monster she had become. Everything was written down on paper and locked up in a computer. But unfortunately, this access to all the information and memories only lasted a few hours – Hydra found out and did the only thing they could really do, and that was to wipe her clean several times for good-measure. After this she had no more episodes, no incidents where she let people escape the wrath of Hydra. 

She became that emotionless soldier they needed again.

1992\. The KGB  
“Again.” Madam B barked, her posture tightened with her hands tied behind her back. She was a middle-aged blonde woman with a stink of death surrounding her aura. Twelve girls between the ages of 13-16 were dancing ballet, this was part of their training – this was one of their many ways to break the breakable girls. 

Next to her was Winter, she was there to train the girls who passed the first stages of testing – the soldier was to show and make these girls into the ultimate spies. Winter stood there to the side, leaning against the window – she watched the girls kneeling on the floor, on the other side of the room. These were the new set of girls to be broken – she assessed them all individually in her mind.

All of them were shaking, looking fearful but one girl in particular stood out to her. The only 10 year old had long red hair with pale skin, she was small but she held her head up high and Winter instantly knew right then, this girl had a fighting spirit. Something a spy certainly needed to survive.

Madam B slowly walked over to the Winter Soldier, looking highly upon the magnificent creation of Hydra’s work. They were partners you see, sometimes they would provide the girls for some of their missions but even then, none of these girls compared to this magnificently constructed woman. The Winter solider was the ultimate spy and fighter, something she wished all her girls were to possess. “Do any of them stand out to your liking?” She inquired, her eyes flicking through the scared little girls in a line.

“The one with red hair.” Winter tilted her head towards the little girl in question, “She’ll make it. She’s the one.” 

Madam B slowly grinned, smirking slightly. “Wonderful.” She crowned, looking pleased. “She’ll get more extensive training and we’ll push her even harder than the others; I’m sure she’ll make a magnificent spy for Hydra.” Yes, Hydra were looking for an extra solider in their ranks. It was the other reason why Winter was there, she was to train this girl into becoming like her – so that she could have a partner to cover her behind on the more trickier missions. The metal arm wasn’t becoming a help sometimes either, especially when all this new technology was being discovered. They needed someone to watch their prized possession’s back – they needed to make sure ‘The Winter Soldier’ was alive forever to continue their legacy … and plan.

…

2000  
Eight years later and it had indeed come true, the little redhead was the only one of the group to make it past the initial tests and every other one after that. The others were killed off during the ‘fight-to-the-death’ battles that were held once a month. This little redhead was no longer little though, she had grown into a woman’s body and more muscular thanks to her daily training. Natalia Romanov was her name. Her hair was brighter than before but shorter, now it reached just below her shoulder whereas before, it had stretched down to the middle of her back. 

“Come on, Natalia.” Winter scolded, finishing their practice fight with her arms wrapped around the 18 year old’s neck in a snapping grip. “You know this.” She had been working on building up Natalia’s killing potential over the eight years period. There had been a bit too much hesitation when they first started, but luckily the younger girl was beginning to get over it. If it wasn’t for her insisting that the redhead could win this next fights, Natalia would be no more by now. She didn’t know why, but she felt some kind of bond with her – a protective bond … but that could be because she’s still just a child.

Natalia maneuvered herself out of the grip while Winter let go slowly. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head dejectedly. She was trying, but it was hard – being a spy sounded great but this wasn’t what she had in mind, she was trapped in this place. Winter was the only one she really talked to; the other girls were always being killed off like flies so it was no point in mingling with them.

“No apologizing, it’s sign of weakness.” 

The red head moved over to the bench in the corner, she sat down on it, looking upset and a little scared. “I’m never going to beat this test tomorrow.” Madam B had told her of the next test – it was to take down a fully grown man – killing him. Yes, she was a hundred times stronger than when she first started but this guy was double her age and twice her strength. She didn’t want to die. “You’ll win.” The soldier told her with confidence, kneeling in front of her with a spark of comfort flashing in her eye. “You always do – just as we planned. After this, you’ll be free of this place, you’ll be with me.” 

She had let Natalia in on what was planned. Originally, it was planned that the two of them would be joining up to go on missions together – but all that changed a couple of years ago. Winter’s trust had begun to waver from Hydra and the KGB, being around all these girls being killed off had begun to take some kind of toll on her – and this protective feeling for Natalia just kept getting stronger.

Natalia looked up to her, a tear in her eye and her voice broke as she spoke, “But even if I win this – the graduation ceremony…” She didn’t want to go through with it, she was honestly scared.

Ava started breathing harder, panic settling in upon seeing the silver knife inches away from her lower stomach. “No, no, no.” She begged, tears falling down the side of her place. “P-Please, don’t. I-I’ll do anything, I swear.” Her voice broke, trying to suck in her stomach even though very little good will be gotten out of it.

“It is necessary.” The doctor told her with a firm voice, smirking a little at the side of his mouth. “The KGB have the right idea in their hundreds of years’ experience in training little girl spies, it’s only fair you get to graduate too.”

Another doctor came over with a large needle, injecting a vast amount of freezing liquid into her bloodstream – her eyes began to feel heavier, she tried her best to stay awake and fight, but her body was rejecting her notion. “No…” Her last word was filled with desperation, realizing what she was about to lose forever.

Winter blinked away the vision with a hidden tear, she had been having so many lately – especially this one. It’s another one of the reasons she was leaving Hydra and all of this behind with Natalia by her side. The girl felt like some kind of daughter or for her, as stupid as that sounded coming from a monster herself - but this felt real. She was going to save this girl from her fate, and that was a promise. “It won’t happen to you … I’ll make sure of it.” She formed a silent plan in her head, she just hoped it would work out in their favor.

…  
The next day came quickly for Natalia and everything the opposite happened; Winter was gone, she had disappeared. When the woman never showed up, she began to worry that something terrible had happened. And when Madam B said Winter had to leave, she said this with a cold-stone smile, she knew something really bad had happened then. And at that point, she knew that she’ll never be getting out of here, she would never be seeing the woman who acted somewhat like a sister or mother again. And she’d have to go through with the Graduation ceremony as originally planned, something that terrified her to the core. 

This was the day she stopped believing in hope and God. Until the day she met the world’s mightiest heroes and became one herself.

A Few Days After Being Found by Bucky and Steve…  
“The rest of the Avenger’s want to meet you…”

When this day came, it didn’t exactly go as smoothly as Steve and Bucky had hoped. Stark was his usual cocky self, ramping up Winter’s agitation level by calling her ‘Little Rogers’ all the time. Clint gave her a wary side-glance, his hand fidgeting over the bow and arrows settled in his arms - ready for some action. Natasha looked shifty yet worried, something seemed to be troubling her greatly about meeting this long-lost person in Steve and Bucky’s life. Bruce was probably the most calmest about the introductions as anyone else, he laid back against the couch without a care. He considered himself a monster so it didn’t exactly get to him about all the things Winter had done in the past. Thor had his hand clutched to the hammer with a vice grip, hearing stories at what this ‘Winter Soldier’ had done in the past. In fact, all of them had been discussing her in secret over for the past couple of hours while she had been sitting up in her mini-apartment, given to her by Tony Stark. 

Steve and Bucky were their usual selves, between them, they had tried to get the others to at least meet and eventually accept her no matter what she had done in the past. The others don’t fully know what was found out apart from Natasha, but it was worth a shot. They wanted their Ava back and this would help, especially when this version of Ava liked to fight battles as it seems.

All heads shot up when Winter entered the room; she looked between them blankly but eyed all the weapons suspiciously, she unconsciously tensed her well-used muscles, knowing that if a fight were to break out - she’d be ready. She wore her uniform still but it was cleaned last night, her hair fell down her back in waves. 

Steve stood up, rubbing his palms against his thighs nervously. “Uh, guys. This is Av-, uh, Winter. This is Winter.” Changing the name quickly as a small glare was sent his way.  
Thor was the first to speak up, “Many things have been said about you Miss Winter.” His voice boomed loudly, his tone filled with his usual godly confidence. “I am Thor. God of Thunder and Son of Odin. A pleasure to meet a fellow warrior like myself.” He nodded to her.

“Clint Barton.” The bow man gave her a mock salute from his seat, not sure if he should be courteous or not. “Also known as Hawkeye.” 

“Bruce Banner.” The man with an old looked to him gave a small wave towards her.

Winter tilted her head towards him with recognition, “You’re that big green guy.” She said out loud.

“Ah.” Bruce murmured, looking uncomfortable again as he sighed, “Yeah, The Hulk. That’s me with terrible anger issues.”

Tony leaned himself against a table with a cocky grin plastered on his lips, fiddling with a handmade device in his hands. “Well, everyone already knows me. You’ve probably seen me a hundred times in your travels over the years.”

Winter raised eyebrow to him, “And that is?” She questioned, not recognizing him really. He was somewhat familiar but nothing came to mind. Her short question earned a snort from several of the Avengers, everyone expect from Thor who gave a small grin and Natasha who just watched her with a blank face - her features now varying between several different emotions.

“You mean, you recognize ‘The Jolly Green Giant’ … but not me?” Tony gasped in horror, seeing no recognition from Winter’s face. She was telling the truth, she didn’t know who he was. The Playboy Billionaire has met his match. “I’m Tony Stark - and you better remember it from now on.” He said with a stern tone, looking playfully hurt beforehand.  
Winter just gave him a sarcastic smile, not looking happy about the comment, “No promises. Seems like i can’t remember much these days apparently.”

“You’ll remember.” Bucky insisted, moving beside her. But out of instinct, Winter shuffled away from him slightly - not appreciating the closeness between them. She didn’t see his face drop with sadness as she stared at the redhead sitting on her own behind Clint in a wooden chair. Not having introduced herself yet.

Natasha was just staring at her with mixed emotions. Inside her head, her mind was reeling in a furious cycle. This woman - it was her. It’s the Winter she knew as a child; it’s been nearly 15 years. After all this time, she’s been alive. When she was shot by this ‘Winter Soldier’ when protecting that engineer, she had originally thought it had been a coincidence but a part of her knew differently. The Winter Soldier always had a mask on so she could never know for sure, but now … This Winter, or Avery Rogers was the woman who acted somewhat like a guardian or mother during her time at the KGB. Her heart crushed inside when she saw no recognition from Winter when the woman looked to her - this must be what Bucky and Steve were feeling. Winter had been the closest thing to a mother or sister she had ever had - she always secretly wondered what happened to her. Now she knew.

“Nat?” Clint’s voice was troubled, probably when he saw her face pale several degrees. It was only then that the redhead realized everyone was staring at her.

But she didn’t look away from Winter. “You left me.” She said, not realizing she had actually spoke out loud.

Winter was as confused as the rest of them. She raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me?” 

Natasha swallowed hardly, “You don’t recognize me?!” Feeling a little venom crawl up in her tone.

The soldier frowned, looking the redhead up and down skeptically. “No.” She shook her head. “Should I?” Her eyebrow cocked again.

Steve thought about what she could mean, but then realized how they had been attached to the idea of ‘The Winter Soldier’ being involved all those months ago. Natasha had told him and Bucky about their meeting all those years ago. “About five or six years go, you shot her when she protected an engineer.”

Winter looked to him with confusion for a second, not remembering that - but turned to look at Natasha for the confirming answer.

“Right.” She confirmed with a lie, something else riddling in her tone. Her fists clenched, she wasn’t about to say anything about her past in front of everyone. Not something like this - especially when it came to the last time she really knew Winter. This woman was completely different from the one that she knew.

Winter didn’t say anymore, but noticed this look of anger and resentment in Natasha’s eyes. She didn’t say anymore towards it though because she knew there was more to be said … she was sure she’d remember if it were something important to know.

 

Note: Took longer than i hoped, but good news - i have stolen my old laptop back from my brother for the time being mwa-hahaha! Hopefully it won’t be till just tonight and i’m computer-less again…  
I’m pretty sure i’m getting back to the movie after this chapter, but there will still be original content in the next one again.  
Fav, Follow, Review...


	6. Reality

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | Reality

"I love you, Avery Lola Rogers…"

"You are the Winter Soldier. Our most magnificent weapon of the century…"

"You are my sister … nothing could stop me from loving you…"

"Don't let them change you … you be a good girl, Avery…"

...

"This is your first test." Dr Zola appeared by her side, holding out a pisot in his hands - waiting for her to take it. "Shoot them." Gesturing to the three small children knelt in front, shaking with fear - silently begging this to be in a nightmare. Hoping they weren't actually away from their parents ... about to die. Rags were stopping them from talking, tear stains were evident on their paled cheeks.

Without even thinking, Winter grabbed the gun from the little man - aiming it at the kids. And one after the other, they fell to the floor with an identical bullet lodged in their skulls.

This woman was a monster.

...

Avery's grasp was slipping from the train, the wind brushed past her with a vicious push - she could barely breathe. "Steve…" She whimpered breathlessly, feeling her grip slipping, "James…" She looked up to see her two boys disappearing from sight - their soulful eyes being the last thing to vanish, it's like they were fading from existence. "Don't leave me!" She screamed with desperation. "Please! Don't leave me!"

Her grip fully let go, her body began to fall from the sky with a hefty drop. "Ahhh-!"

x-x-x

Back to the present; Ava's body jumped and jolted off. Her breathing was erratic and heavy, it's like she had no control over her body. "Ahhh-!" A scream ricocheted out of her mouth, her eyes snapping open while a large gasp filled the air.

"Avery?!" A very frantically worried male's voice started to cut through her undetermined haze. "Ava, calm down - it's okay! Your safe!" The voice was speaking in her ear as her eyes clenched shut again, her heart constricting as the recognition came to her. Steve.

Ava's muscles clenched while her head began to shake in a hasty manner, "Not real…" She started to mumble to herself. "Not real … none of this is real." Her voice broke, arms wrapped around her shaking figure. Everything that replayed through her head … all those things she's done … no, that couldn't have been her. She couldn't do all those things … could she?

She barely recognised the pinching pain in the human arm through her mumblings, but even so, her body began to slump with tiredness - her words beginning to slur as her mind started to shut down. Her last words before darkness took her were, "I'm a monster…" And with that, her unconscious body fell into the arms of her brother - her eyes rolling to the back of her head - back into the mind of nightmares.

...

Steve looked down at his sister with worry sharpened in his eyes. "What's wrong with her?!" He insisted, a hard note in his tone while his eyes narrowed dangerously with protectiveness - as if daring anyone to lie to him about his sister's condition. He carefully picked her up, placing her back onto the medical bed she been on before.

"I-I'm not sure," Helen Cho stuttered slightly, glancing to the monitor that showed Ava's brain activity. Helen Cho was the main doctor when it came to the Avengers getting injured - she had a small body, she was of Asian descent but as much of an American as everyone else was in this city. "At least, I'm not a hundred percent sure. Her brain waves are acting like an amnesia patient who's started to regain their memories back, but this is…" She didn't really know how to put it. "...I've never seen someone remember something at this extreme level and from the looks of it, it's taking a toll on both her mind and body."

"She's remembering everything." Steve murmured to himself, his eyebrows creasing with tense shoulders - he never let go of his sister's hand. She now laid almost peacefully on the bed, a thin blanket now covering her still uniformed body - a line of sweat beaded against her forehead. He started to calm down, seeing his sister no longer in pain - but his worry for her was still spiking. He glanced to the Helen, "Every time a memory would come back to her - it hurt." He mentioned, "But, that was just one or two ... if she's remembering everything…" He glanced back to his twin, only being able to imagine what kind of pain she must be in. He might not see it right now because of the drugs inserted into her body, but he knew something like that was not going to be pretty.

"Steve…" Dr Helen Cho spoke, trying to get his attention back. She watched as he blinked away from his sister, turning to her with confusion - he must have noticed the slight dent in her voice - she knew what was about to be said, shouldn't be taken lightly. "If it's true and all the memories from both Winter's life and her own are coming back … all of them; there really is no telling how she's going to come out of this."

Steve started to look angry, "She'll make it through. She's my sister!" Not being able to help remembering when he last said that statement before the battle between Shield and Hydra.

"Of course." Helen tried to calm him down, not wanting him ramped up even more within his already emotional state. "But, what I'm saying is - that's nearly a hundred years worth of memories and they're not going to be all pretty, and you know exactly what I mean by that. Having both Avery Rogers and The Winter Soldier in one body … it could spell disaster, they're both really strong personalities - it's going to be hard to find that balance in one small body." And with that, she exited leaving him a small smile - needing to check on her other two patients - Bucky Barnes and Clint Barton.

...

The next time Avery woke up, she felt calmer and less psychotic as before - it might be because of the steady flow of drugs running through her system by the needle attached to her human arm.

Her breath came out more collected, "Where am I?" She murmured to herself blearily, the blinding light from the open window stained against her face. She ignored the metal arm but raised the skin one instead, lifting it towards her face to push away the strands of her dark hair away. After a moment, she was finally able to blink without being blinded. As her eyes opened, the room was still bright but it made her realise where she must be. The room looked familiar - it was one of the rooms in the Avengers building. She slowly sat herself up, looking down at the clothing she now wore - it was a set of jogging pants and a tank top.

The room was filled with hospital type equipment, including a lot of experimental stuff too. Something that made her feel a little too uneasy about. She didn't even wait another second until the needle was wrenched out of her skin, not liking the drugged feeling still lingering inside her.

"What happened to me?" Her voice slowly drifted out, trying to think back to the last thing she remembered, but all she could see where the flashing memories pressing against her brain. A numbing pain splintered in her skull, but luckily it wasn't something that stopped her from doing anything. It was like the typical headache, just a it more … painful and annoying. She slowly moved herself off the bed, her slipper booted feet connecting with the floor as she did - her body wobbled for a moment, her legs feeling dead and unused for some reason.

"JAMES!"

Ava's body snapped backwards in a startled manner when her past voice echoed in her mind, her back connected harshly with a rolling metal table with medial instruments on it. All of it crashed to the ground with a smashing sound, something that anyone in the hallway would clearly hear. Ava's hands went up to her ears, covering them with a scared look - she clutched her head tightly, wanting the noise to stop.

The door opened, "Avery?!" Steve's voice snapped her back to reality - her head began to slowly look up to the long-seen face. Her heart stilled in it's place, she couldn't believe Steve was standing there - staring at her with worry, she hasn't seen that look in so long it felt.

Ava blinked, wondering if he were actually there or if this was just another one of those terrible nightmares. Nothing felt real to her anymore it seemed. "S-Steve?" She breathed with a crack in her throat, her voice riddled with desperation and longing - small tears began to form on the corners of her eyes. "Stevie?"

Steve's face began to light up, a smile quickly forming on his lips - relief filling his features. "Ava…" Without even thinking, he walked forwards and brought her into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her, clutching her tightly to his chest. Steve couldn't help but breath in her familiar scent, even after all this time - she still smelled the same.

There was a moment where he could feel her tensing at the human contact, but after that second she began to relax against his frame. She curled into his slightly taller being, wrapping her arms around him. All the emotions finally got to her by this point. Ava finally let go of everything, sobs slowly and eventually crawled out of her, her body shaking as the tears poured down her face. Steve held her tighter, feeling his own eyes well up at the sight of his sister looking so lost and helpless.

So much guilt and sadness wrapped around Avery liked dead bolted chains - she just couldn't get out of it. All those things she's done … she's killed so many, and enjoyed it. More sobs poured out when she realised everything she had done … even though she personally hadn't been the one alive during the last 75 years, 'The Winter Soldier' was still her. Everything that had been done by these hands … was committed by her. She had even tried to kill her two boys not too long ago; she really didn't know if they will or had even forgiven her for what she had done.

Today she was just simply ... broken.

..............................

Note: Okay, so this will be the last original chapter. I'm going to get into the movie now after this one. I hope you guys like it. Fav, Follow, Review.


	7. Rippling Effect

Just Note: I will be moving the beginning events around a little bit, bare with me but it will continue on from the movie starting from this chapter. I will also give you a warning, you’ll experience a different Ava to the one who broke down at the end of the last chapter. This chapter will feature her letting out various negative emotions, and it’ll go a bit far.

Warning - a swear word!

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | A Rippling Effect

“What’s the word on Strucker?” Steve asked Agent Hill, seeing the brunette with a tight bun against her neck. Even after the fall of Shield, the woman began to work for Tony as a side-contact. She may not be a full Shield agent anymore, but she could still gather information within a flash much like Tony with his computers - except she had dozens of contacts across the globe who knew Fury and aligned with him all the way. This gave her a plus in the type of business she provided.

The two of them were currently further down the hallway, Ava had told him she needed some space for a moment. She wanted to be alone, he could understand that to some degree - he really could only imagine what’s going on in that head of her’s right now. His heart lurched with worry, thinking that one wrong turn could lead down a dangerous path for her, and could even make the memories fade again.

“NATO’s got him.” She assured him, these people were the best at getting information out of prisoners - and the best at keeping them contained until further notice.

“And the two enhanced?” He questioned, holding out his hand for the tablet located in the woman’s hands. He knew she had found information on the two already, maybe the answers could have been on the information Tony had managed to gather from Strucker’s computers, back in Sovakia.

Hill passed over the tablet, but before she could get a word in another voiced behind them sounded. “The young girl with long, darkened red hair, her name is Wanda Maximoff.” The Agent and Captain spun around, slightly surprised by the new voice entering into the conversation. Leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, and now with clothing that consisted of the stuff Steve had left her to the side. A pair of black jeans and a flimsy, thin jumper that successfully hides the metal arm out of sight. Ava had pulled her hair up into a loose bun, obviously not caring about her looks - but then again, she never really did both as The Winter Soldier or as Avery Rogers. “The boy with dark hair, that’s Pietro. The two of them are twins.”

Agent Hill narrowed her eyes with suspicion, a common trait amongst spies like her. “And how do you know this.” This woman may be Captain America’s sister and Lieutenant America’s lover, but Hill didn’t know enough about this new person standing in front of her. Was this the killer machine, Winter Soldier? Or was this the protective, self-sacrificing woman history has come to love?

Ava didn’t look unnerved by the Agent, finding the suspicion completely understandable at the time. “Not only did I meet them both on countless occasions … but I was the one who originally recruited them.”

Steve couldn’t help but lift his eyebrows in shock, “What?” Not being able to believe his own ears for a moment.

The sister swallowed hard, she knew it was going to be hard to come clean about nearly everything she had done ever since her ‘death’, and recruiting children wasn’t even a tenth of the crimes she’s committed. “The Winter Soldier had orders.” She simply said, before going in a little deeper. “Hydra wanted new people to ... experiment on, to make them like me but not emotionless, just individuals with a massive amount of anger for one specific thing. And these two had it - and obviously, Strucker’s experiments worked.”

Hill’s face started to link into anger, “You mean, you knew all along that these types of experiments were going on to innocents and you never said a word or did anything?!” Feeling hate crawl up in her stomach, she really didn’t like this girl anymore than she did before.

Ava finally started to narrow her own eyes, this time with a furiousness built up inside. Her fists clenched, the nerve of wanting to punch the Agent started to drift in her consciousness, but she internally tried to stop herself. The Winter Soldier wanted to kill her. “I was wiped clean remember.” She said in a deadly voice, it was calm but anyone who could really tell an emotion would know this woman was about to pounce. “Every time they realised i started gaining my memories back, i was cast back into a blank slate with nothing but the knowledge of a feared soldier.”

Steve was just staring at his sister, he had never seen her react this way - all he could figure is that the deadly soldier was starting to peel through the gaps like she had done to Winter only days ago. He could see so much building up inside of her, just by looking in her eyes. He saw hate, pain, anger, loss and so many more negative emotions he never wanted to see in her eyes ever since they were kids. He wished she had never had to go through what she did, because everything that was done during her time ‘dead’ it’s taken a toll on her, it’s stripping her even more of who she was.

“Not everything about me is in that little black book of yours, Agent Hill. You have no comprehension of the things that i’ve done or the things that were done to me in the process.” Ava caught a glimpse of Hill twitching towards her gun, and she chuckled darkly, “Oh, Agent.” Shaking her head in mock disappointment, “If I were going to kill you - your head would be clean off before you even pull that gun out.” And with that, she turned on her heels and walked away leaving a surprisingly shaken spy and a brother who just didn’t know what to think anymore.

...

THUD. THUD. THUD.

Ava continuously hammered her fists against the punching bag, ignoring everything around her - only one thing floated around in her head, the anger and hatred built up in her system. She didn’t want it inside of her, it felt like a plague - a disease she just couldn't get rid of. There was just so much of it, it took so much to stop herself from killing Agent Hill back in that hallway - that was the soldier part of her slipping past a barrier she was starting to create.

Instead of The Winter Soldier slowly letting the original owner of the body making it’s way back. What’s happening - it was the complete opposite in many ways. Ava was now trying to block the heartless killer from coming back; she wanted to be herself again, the one who would give up her own life for her brother and fiance - the one who’d smartly make a great plan, the one who everyone could count on. But that wasn’t her anymore, and even with her memories back from both lives she’s lived, she still couldn’t figure out who she really was. Yes, logically speaking Avery Rogers was the owner of this body - it’s who she truly was. But what about the killer in her? That’s also a being, a bad one, but still someone who shared this small body of hers - the one who's done the most damage through their living lives.

Maybe the killer was the one she was fated to be forever, maybe Avery Rogers doesn't actually exist anymore? Avery Roger’s never would have killed innocent people, she would have never trained children to become weapons of destruction and she would never in her own damn mind give over to the evil no matter what the cost. Avery Rogers would have rather died than become a monster, someone everyone would fear in the future.

“Avery?” A voice said behind her, it was low and hesitant but there was a glimmer of hope mixed in above all. Ava’s stature immediately halted at the voice, knowing all too well whose it was. James. Ava’s fist was mere inches away from the punching bag when her body stilled, his voice filling the room was a shock. James had been badly hurt, but he sounded like normal already. That Dr. Cho must really be the best in her field.

Avery didn’t turn to him, she just stared at the punching back with a tense and distant look. “You should be in bed.” She told him blankly, trying to put up a clear face so the buried guilt and shame wouldn’t rise up and eat her alive.

Bucky looked a little hurt when she didn’t turn to him, that she wasn’t speaking the way she used to when he would enter the room. Steve had told him about her memories, that they were now back - all of them. “So should you.” He tried to lighten up the mood, not fully understanding the cold shoulder she was giving him. But still, she stayed silent. “Avery, please … look at me.” He pleaded, all he could see was her back.

And still, she didn’t move so he bravely took a step forwards. “You have your memories back-” He thought this would be a good thing, the best thing that’s happened to them in a long time … especially for her. “-why are you acting like this?” She didn’t look relieved at all, and everything he could really determine right now is nothingness from what’s he’s seen in the last minute. Speaking with Steve earlier, he said she showed an anger and sarcasticness neither of them had witnessed in their lives. Neither of them were understanding her right now.

That hit a nerve. “And how is it that i should be acting, James?!” She finally snapped, her fist collided with the punching bag again - even this made Bucky jump a little, frowning with concern but also worry - like Steve, he had never seen a side much like this to their Avery. She finally turned to him, her brows fiercely pulled together, almost mirroring back in the hallway with Agent Hill and Steve. She waved her arms up with her shoulders shrugging at the same time, water began to brim against the whites of her eyes. “Should i be happy? Grateful?” She began to bitterly list, “Should i be jumping for fucking joy?” Her voice cracked, never once had Avery used a swear word.

Bucky stayed silent. Listening.

“Well, i can’t!” She yelled, pissed off. “I’m a mess! A monster!”

At that, Bucky immediately started to shake his head in complete protest, “You are not a monster.” He stated in a definite tone.

Ava started breathing heavily, her mouth watering with saltiness every time a tear threatens to drop. “Oh, really?” She tilted her head in a sarcastic way, staring at him with a fake look of interest. “And how can you be so sure of that, James?” She demanded, her voice was thickening again. “You don’t even know me … not anymore.” Her hand went to her neck where the chain still was, with the ring she had stolen from Bucky after saving him from drowning, just after the fall of Shield and Hydra.

James started to shake his head, not understanding where this was going. “What are you saying?” He had a bad feeling in his stomach, one that knew something would crush him at any moment.

Ava ripped the chain off her neck. “The Winter Soldier was right about one thing.” She said, opening her palm towards herself - James still couldn't see what she was holding. “The real Avery Rogers, the one everyone loved and lost.” She paused, biting her tongue to keep in her overdriven emotions. She took a deep breath before confessing. “She’s dead.”

“No.” He shook his head with objection, “You have your memories back-”

“But it wasn’t just those memories, James.” Avery stopped him, looking him in the eye this time, clutching the ring back in her hand. “I have so many more and none of them are good. They’re haunting me and i’m just not ready to deal with anything else right now.”

James still wasn’t understanding what was going on, not until Ava took a step forwards, taking his hand before placing something small and warm in his palm. He looked down with confusion, but something that felt like a spike pierced his heart. The ring. The engagement ring he gave to Avery when he proposed. The one he thought was lost back when he couldn’t save her the first time. “I don’t deserve you and you shouldn’t wait for me.” She said, almost too softly to hear and her voice was filled with longing and loss. Her own heart was starting to break, wanting so badly to stop and take her words back - but she couldn’t, she cared about her two boys too much.

“No…” He almost gasped, his voice breathing out in despair - now he understood. His own tears were starting to spring up now, he couldn’t believe this was happening - he couldn't understand and he couldn't even comprehend how he was even standing right now. Was he having a nightmare?

A tear finally made it’s way down Ava’s cheek, and she swallowed hard again, stepping away from James. “It’s for the best.” She assured him, but it felt like she was also trying to assure herself. That this is what’s best. That being apart from whatever relationship they used to have was best, and it was. But that’s what she thought, not what she really believed deep down.

At hearing that, James was shaking his head, his eyes now hard. “No way.” He said, emotion pouring into his words. “Us being apart will never the best thing, and it never will be.” He moved forwards to grasp her arm when she pulled away, but in surprise, her metal arm tightly gripped his arm before throwing him into the wall, holding him up a few feet from the ground - she now had him pinned by his neck, suspended from the ground. Bucky’s eyes were widened with surprise and he couldn’t help but let a little fear sneak in, but not for himself - but for his love. He couldn’t help but wince as well, even though his body was repaired like Barton’s, the area when the injury occurred was still sore.

“I could very easily snap your neck without a second thought.” She said honestly and this time she made sure to bottle up the tears - not letting even one drop. Ava knew that she’d never let herself kill James or Steve though, she'd rather kill herself first. She wanted him to be safe from her, away from everything haunting her soul and crushing everything she had inside that was still good. She leant closer to his ear with a whisper, “I’m a monster … I’m not your lover anymore, James. Let go.” With that, she dropped him. And much like she did in the hallway, she walked out without another word.

Avery left Bucky breathing hard on the floor, trying to gain his breath back. All he could think was - one of his nightmares had come true. They were no longer engaged, she no longer wanted to be with him. But even though she said all those hurtful things towards him and herself, he knew his Avery was still in there - he could feel it, he believed it. Avery was doing what she felt was right, protecting him. But he didn’t need protecting … she did. And he wasn’t going to give up on her or them, not even for one second. He would make sure Ava could see the light again, the best in this world - he’ll help her to heal from the damages done from the past. He’ll have his fiance back, and soon he’ll finally have Avery Rogers as his wife, his destiny and his fate.

With that soulful promise - he clutched the engagement ring with promise driven in his veins.  
................................................

Just to be clear on something, i am technically on a whole fanfiction hiatus until nxt Feb. I just had a bit of time where i could actually get this done for you guys, i may get more chances but it’ll be rare, especially as my last month nears to the end.

Anyway, please let me know what you think!

Review, Fav, Follow!


	8. A Life to Live

Wattpad Contest Entry - 'Contest 21 - Thank You'

Today I woke up and realized that I am thankful for...

X-Bucky Barnes-X

Today I woke up and realized that I am thankful for so much in my life, and although it's been one hell of a ride, there were so many things I've taken for granted. I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm alive, so was Steve my best friend in the whole world - and so was Avery Rogers, my one true love.

I stood there against the window pane, staring out towards the dark-haired beauty that owned my heart. Flushes of my hot breath stained the window, fogging it up - for hours she had been sitting out there, her legs dangled over the ledge but her features showed a massive amount of thought. I knew she wouldn't jump, not only did I believe it, but neither Avery Rogers nor 'The Winter Soldier' would give up that easily. I wouldn't let either of them either, no matter what.

Yesterday's events were still plaguing my mind, haunting my very soul. Avery Rogers; the one true girl I loved with all my heart, broke it with her words and even though I know deep down she didn't mean it - her cold words still hurt. I gripped the engagement ring tighter in my grasp, I hadn't let go of it the moment she placed it back in my palm - I couldn't, I wouldn't. I can't believe that she would really let go of everything we had ... but in her mind, I'm sure she thinking it'll save me from who she's become over this long period of time.

"She still there?" Steve asked me, coming up from behind to the glass window, now standing in the space next to me. I turned to him, and as usual, he looked worried for his sister - who could blame him? I was as equally worried.

"Yeah." I nodded, still feeling numb after yesterday's events, especially when it plays through my mind every waking moment.

Steve started to look frustrated, obviously annoyed he couldn't help his sister - he never did like standing by, not being able to do anything, it's something we really had in common. "Why is she doing this?" He muttered to no one in particular, "She's pushing us away!"

"She's Avery." I said with a knowing tone, lifting myself from the leaning stance, standing up to push my hands inside my pockets. "You know her, we both do - she'll keep pushing us away - to protect us." I paused, looking down sadly. "It's why she broke up the engagement. She kept calling herself a monster, a heartless killer who wouldn't care if I died."

"But 'The Winter Soldier's' gone, Avery's back, right?" Steve looked unsure, sometimes I wished he wasn't so naive. But then, who could blame him? He just wanted his twin sister back.

"That's the problem, Stevie." This is what needed to be known, we were never going to have our old Avery Rogers back - it's one of the reasons why we were being pushed away. Ava's probably thinking this new her isn't good enough for us, but it was, at least we still had her back. And that's one of the main reasons I was thankful to whatever God was out there. "The Winter Soldier is Avery, but just another part of her. That girl out there, it's our Avery Rogers ... but she's also a trained soldier who can kill within a split second. She's never going to be the same Ava we knew, Steve. Not with everything she's been through since her technical death all those years ago."

Steve ran a hand through his hair, "How are we supposed to get to her?" He questioned, not knowing the answer. "If Ava's trying to protect us from the darkness inside of her, you know full well it won't be easy getting her to open up. Let alone let us get close to her. She was always the most stubborn one out of the three of us."

"We'll make her see that she belongs with us." Glancing to Ava, still sitting outside, peacefully unaware we were talking about her right now. "That we'll support her through whatever memories that are haunting her, we'll show her that she's not alone and that she can trust us to be there for her." With a sigh, I put the ring back on the old chain I wore before when I first held onto it. I hung it around my neck, protecting it until the day I will propose again.

I know it will be a while before the relationship builds up to that stage again, but I knew that day would come. I would wait for centuries even if it meant waiting until Avery was ready again. From this day forwards, I will do whatever I can to help Avery through her demons just like she did with me back when we first met. I wasn't down without a fight, and I was going to make damn sure she didn't either.

From this day on, i was thankful for having a love that would triumph over the hardest of things and I was most thankful for having my Avery back in my life.

This is something I will say prayers for ... every night.

....................  
This is really something I have never done in one of my stories, but here you get to see what Bucky is feeling right now, well, and Steve I guess. This is actually a ONE-SHOT for a Wattpad competition, but i felt the need to put it in 'Saviours' anyway. I hope you like it ... let me know what you think on my first-person attempt!


	9. You're not Alone

This is going to pretty much span the three days Banner and Stark work on their Ultron project.

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | You're not Alone

The next day, Avery found herself in Central Park - she sat on the grass, her arms wrapped around her legs as they tucked themselves against her chest. Her fingers fiddled with the grass threads she had previously ripped up from the ground while gazing at the lake that made her feel peaceful, she wanted some clarity and time away from the tower after technically coming back from the dead.

Central Park was still as lively and populated as last time, kids were running around to avoid the dog from catching up to them and couples were just holding hands with joyful smiles. She envied them, something she and the Winter also had in common. The Winter Soldier sometimes hated being the odd one out, the one who would never get any of this - but she was a trained, soulless killer so all in all, she didn't have it as a priority.

A footstep on the crunchy part of the grass sounded, "Can i sit?" A voice asked her, a female one. And when Ava looked behind and up, she saw Natasha standing there with a small bag and wearing normal public clothing rather than her usual spy gear. Natasha wore a small smile, but there was a slight hesitation in it - like she didn't know this would be a good idea or not.

Ava didn't say anything, other than nodding mutely. She turned back around to the lake, staring at it once again. Natalia Romanova, the little redhead she nearly but unsuccessfully tried to save from the hands of the KGB. "What are you doing here, Natalia?" She said softly, too tired to try and fight to just be alone. She knew Natasha would finally try and find her after the news of the memories returning, the little redhead was one of many things she had tried to direct down another path. And again, she failed to save the child - she always failed it seemed.

Natasha couldn't help but flinch a little at her old name, the one she made sure to change as soon as she could. She sat next to the dark-haired woman. Her past wasn't a bright one, and it wasn't one any child would want. So she put on a smile, trying to block away the memories momentarily, "I brought lunch." She said, opening up the little bag she had with her. "You been here for nearly five hours and I know for a fact that you didn't have breakfast." She held out a chicken caesar wrap, one that was handmade from the grocers down the street.

Avery turned to her, frowning, not stopping herself from looking confused. She slowly grabbed the wrap from the redhead, accepting the food gratefully. "Thank you." She began on a good note, "But that's not why you're here." Knowing all too well.

Natasha sighed, "You're right." She nodded, putting the bag down next to her. She was now sitting cross legged near Ava, not too close but not to far so she could be heard. "I'll get straight to the point. Supposedly you have all your memories back, so, tell me, what the hell happened 15 years ago?!" Ava could sense anger in the words, almost the same display for when Winter had met all the Avengers together - she understood the well deserved anger. Avery would have been confused if there hadn't been. To Natasha, who didn't know all the facts, it probably seemed like she had been left on purpose and if Madam B had anything to say about it, she would have made sure that's what Natalia's thoughts were left with.

Avery let out a steady breathe, slowly. The memory starting to come back to her, it had been one of the ones that plagued her the most.

**Flashback Starts**  
Winter was heading down a hallway towards the main stage, the set up for where Natalia will be facing her last opponent before the Graduation Ceremony. Today was the day, today she was going to save the little redhead from her own fate. Winter wasn't going to fail, Natalia deserved a life away from all this fighting - she deserved to have a normal life without death, without fear. Something she, herself, never remembered having not even once in her life.

All the plans were set, she just needed to wait for the right moment to break both herself and Natalia out of this place. "Winter." A voice called behind her, Madam B. She was still the same stuck-up, self-centered woman in this place - it honestly made The Winter Soldier want to kill her at times (most of them in fact). Maybe she should just kill her anyway for the fun of it? Then at least there wouldn't be a bigger price on their heads - Winter could already imagine the looks on Hydra's faces when they realize their prized possession has gone off the reservation for the last time.

Winter blinked, turning around to the blonde woman, eyeing her for just a moment. A feeling of confusion got to her, seeing a small - nearly untraceable smirk start to make it's way onto the woman's face. "Yes … Madam B?" She linked her metal and human hand together behind her back, wondering what this was about. The match between Natalia and her opponent was to be starting any moment.

"There's been a slight change in plans." She said, the smirk now more pronounced. Winter tilted her head, the confusion now clear on her face. "You won't be watching the last fight Natalia has, your needed somewhere else."

Winter unconsciously gripped her equal hands a bit too tightly, a worrying feeling actually starting to make its way in her chest. "What do you mean?" She questioned, narrowing her eyes in suspicion, "I'm Natalia's handler - I'm needed by her side. Just like we had planned, remember?"

"Not anymore." Madam B told her. "Your little plans have failed, Winter - and your bosses sure aren't happy with you." Without even a moment to comprehend what was happening, Winter felt four sharp pinches on her thigh. Looking down with a startled gasp and a now wobbly leg, she noticed four large darts that held a blue liquid - a very familiar one at that, it was the strong knock-out drug that could take effect within seconds.

"I won't let you ruin one of the best spies the KGB has come to grips with - Natalia is, and will always be one of our most magnificent spies." Winter looked up with a snarl of protectiveness but the blackness of the drug was already starting to crawl in her vision. She went to take a step forwards, but as soon as she moved, her body crumbled to the floor.

And before darkness completely shut her down, all she could think was 'I've failed … again.'   
**Flashback Ends**

"Let's just say, Madam B was a better spy than I took her to be." Ava said, shaking her head at her own stupidity. "The plan I made to break you out, it failed." She turned to Natasha who was listening intently. "There was nothing I could do Natasha," Her shoulders shrugged, feeling a lot of weight being placed on them with guilt and loss. "Hydra didn't tolerate me disobeying orders, especially when it was about to spoil everything they've worked so hard for. It's one of the reasons why they've had to strip me of my memories so many times."

There was a pause. "How many?" Natasha asked, interested but in a worried way - she was taking in everything Ava was saying as the truth. A good spy knew when someone was lying, and Ava wasn't lying.

Avery smiled sarcastically, but it melted into sadness. "I honestly can't count them, I may have my memories back but remembering each time I was wiped - the mind plays tricks, so I'm just going to assume more than enough." She started to unwrap the food given to her, taking a big bite out of it - it tasted amazing, especially on an empty stomach.

And for the next hour, Natasha and Ava just sat there, eating and talking to each other for the first time in 15 years. Avery was finally able to gather the courage to ask Natasha what happened to her after the graduation ceremony, and she was pained to finally find out that the little redhead still went down the same path drawn out for her. And it wasn't until Agent Barton stepped in that she was actually able to finally escape the KGB. Ava made a note to thank Barton at a given chance, for saving Natasha before more damage could be done. At least someone was able to save her, even when she couldn't do it herself.

...

"You should be proud of yourself, Pegs." Ava sat beside her old and only girl best friend, Peggy Carter. Peggy looked entirely different from the last time they met, she was getting to the end of her road. Her hair was a mix between a solid grey and a snowy white, her skin entirely covered with aged wrinkles and there was a spark in her eyes that Ava had a feeling wouldn't be there for much longer. Ava held one of the photo frames that was sat on the bedside table, it was peggy at the age of forty with her kids standing in front of her, and the husband she talked about in the museum video had his arms around her lovingly. It looked like the perfect family, but Ava knew, Peggy always had the longing for Steve in her heart.

Peggy gave a low hum tiredly, exhaustion hitting her after finding out her best friend had been alive the whole time - and not how she used to be. "I was able to live a life." She said sadly, the small smile of pity and regret falling on her lips for the dark-haired girl sitting in front of her. "My only regret is that we didn't try harder to find you, we should have know that you could have still been alive if your body couldn't be found." Her words were full of guilt, they really should have tried harder. But after Bucky and Steve had been lost in the sea, everyone's hopes of any of their heroes coming back ceased and the world began to move on again. Leaving the past in the past before making a better future for the next generations to come.

Ava ignored the pinch in her heart, the reminder of a search for her stopping - it hurt, she couldn't deny that. But after so long, she understood why a search was called off - deep down she could understand it, but it didn't make it any less painful to think about or feel. "Don't worry about it, Pegs." She smiled sadly, looking back down at the picture for a moment before placing it back on the bedside table where it belonged. "I'm okay now."

Peggy didn't believe her. "No your not, sweetheart." She shook her head, looking tearful. There had been a slight age difference between them back then, even with Steve too because the two were twins. And even though Ava and Peggy were best friends, sometimes they were like sisters from different families. It's one of the reasons Peggy had helped Ava to achieve everything she did back before and during the war all those years ago. Peggy was like the older sister Ava never got.

Ava was silent for a moment before a nod was released, "You're right, Pegs." She admitted, looking down with a complex feeling inside. "I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be again."

"Talk to me, Ava." Peggy pleaded, reaching out her hand before grasping the human one of the dark-haired girl that laid upon the side of the bed. Avery flinched at the contact at first, but reminded herself that this was only Peggy - she's never done anything to hurt anyone, and Peggy sure as hell hasn't done anything bad to deserve Winter's wrath. "Let it out, hun." Knowing there were a lot of things troubling the young girl's mind, and even though Ava still looked the same as she used to, maybe just a touch older than before, it was hard to think of her as anything other than the age she disappeared with.

Avery let out a breath, looking back up to her old friend, "For as long as I can remember, Peggy." She said, looking conflicted in her features, "I've always wanted to do what was right, but then I was stripped from everything I knew, everything I felt and everything I believed in. I was torn out, only to be replaced by something I despised most of all - a heartless killer."

"You could never be a heartless killer, Ava-"

"-But I was, I still am as far as I can see." Avery stopped her, a hardness in her tone. "Everyone's going to want me to be who I was back before 'The Winter Soldier' became me, but I can't! It's not possible!"

Peggy listened, "Have you talked to the boys?" She asked, speaking of Bucky and Steve, the only two people Ava could care for more than anything else in the world.

"No." Ava said, after pausing another moment to gather her thoughts. "Not really since I got my memories back," But then she started to look guilty, "But James…" A layer was salty water began to brim against her eyelids, "I broke his heart, I did the one thing he feared I would do. I broke the engagement he proposed before all of this … crap happened."

Peggy tightened the grip on Ava's hand, "The boys will love you for who you are, Avery." She told the girl, "You just have to believe again that love can conquer all. You're not alone, sweetheart - you're never alone."

...

The next day came, and luckily she's been able to avoid Steve and Bucky again. Today, she felt the need to just walk about, explore so to speak. As 'The Winter Soldier' she could never really go out, and whenever she did, obviously it was for a mission to assassinate someone. So, in order to start accepting the past in her head - she traveled a little further than usual to Brooklyn, her hometown. But the place she more specifically wanted to go to today, was Coney Island. One of the good memories from her younger self; the Cyclone she made Bucky and Steve go on.

Ava didn't realise but she let out a small amused chuckle, remembering the event still clearly even after all this time. Going on the Cyclone had been something the three of them did together before the war broke out, they had been just over the teenage stage at that point.

So now, she stood just across the street, looking up at the now 'New York City' Landmark. She couldn't help but feel surprised it was still standing, or even running for that matter. It's got on to be close to a hundred years old at this point. "Surprised it's still standing?" A familiar voice sounded behind her, thinking the exact same thing. Her head snap behind her - she hadn't heard anyone sneaking up behind her, she must have been too intrigued by old memories rising up to the surface to figure it out.

But it wasn't just one familiar person standing behind her, there were two. Steve and Bucky.

Ava narrowed her eyes, annoyed, "Did you follow me?" She demanded, not liking that they did. They would be lying to her they said it was a coincidence because otherwise they shouldn't have easily guessed she would come to visit a monument of the past.

"Yeah," Steve nodded, not looking at all concerned about her tone. "We need to talk, you've been practically avoiding us from the moment you woke up."

Bucky continued for him, "And if it wasn't avoiding us, it was pushing us away both verbally and physically." Thinking about the moment she ended their engagement, she held him against the wall in a choke-hold. Although he didn't blame her, he never really could, it still hurt just like the fact she's been pushing them away each chance she had.

Avery's eyes flicked away guiltily for a moment before her guard went back up, not wanting to show any feelings towards the pain she's caused. Because that's all she's ever seem to done, cause pain. She turned to them fully so her back was now facing the Cyclone, "What's that modern saying kids use these days … take a hint?!"

Bucky chuckled, finding it amusing along with Steve who smiled - however, Ava looked between them both confused and agitated. "Oh, we got the hint, Ava." He said, nodding his head before shoving his hands in his pockets just like Steve was doing. Avery crossed her arms against her chest, giving each of them a look that basically said 'Explain'.

"Avery, we know you." Steve spoke this time, a small smile on his lips. "You're my twin sister. We were inseparable remember ever since we were born." He gestured over to Bucky, "And when he came along, we became 'three peas in a pod'. You really can't believe that we'll stop leaving you alone when you're clearly hurting and alone."

Avery tensed, and Bucky saw this. "We don't care what you've done Avery, whether you knew what you had done at the time or not. We're family." Emotions were starting to get to Ava again, she was looking between the two with a growing sense of love being thrown towards her - tears started to reappear themselves before she could even stop them. They were peeling her down, pushing past the barrier she was trying to build ever since her memories had returned. She was finding it hard to keep herself together.

"You should be hating me right now, the both of you. You can't even imagine the things that I've done. And the things that were done to me … I-I can't even think about them without breaking, I'm not stable enough to be around anyone."

"Then tell us." Steve begged, taking a step towards her. "Let us help you, please, don't push us away." Ava looked up to him, his eyes were glistening just as James's were starting to, "You're not alone - you're never alone."

Avery let out something between a laugh and a sob, bringing her hand up to her mouth. "You sound just like Peggy." She felt a pinch in her heart, talking about her old friend. A very big wave of sadness rushed over her; yesterday, when she went to see Peggy - Ava had been the last one to see the woman alive. She died hours later; heart failure. It seemed like Peggy had been holding out just long enough to see her little sister one last time.

After that first sob, it was like a dam had broken. Ava started to completely crumble, she started to bawl in her place and immediately, Steve and Bucky both rushed to her side, catching her body as her legs gave out. They wrapped their arms around her, almost cradling her against their bodies. Ava's head was resting against Bucky's shoulder, his familiarizing scent making her cry even more - a reminder of everything she's done but it was almost like a comfort, like internally she knew that what they were saying was true. That they wouldn't leave her, even after they find out all the ghastly things she's done.

Avery just prayed that, when she does reveal all in due time, that the promise to never leave her alone will never break. Her emotional and physical state just couldn't handle it if she was left alone in the dusk.

.......................................

Note: Well, i hope you guys liked the ending. I will be having Ava open up a bit more as we start going back through the movie, the next chapter will be going into Tony's party next so i hope you enjoy it.

 

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	10. Important Note - Important

Hey guys,  
As you can obviously see I haven't updated on this site in forever and it's because whenever I try to copy and paste my next chapter, absolutely no paragraph spaces show up and I have to manually do it. To be frank, it pissed me off and I really don't have extra hours in a day to sort it out.

I've gotten a lot further in the story and it's on three different sites for everyone to read and the sites/usernames are below. I've gotten to the point where I only have 1 chapter left.

I'm so sorry if you guys like reading on this site in particular but I've had to hate it.

Fanfiction-dot-net ..... X-Lisa-Anne-X  
Quotev-dot-com .... XLisaAnneX  
Wattpad-dot-com ..... X-Lisa-Anne-X


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